Government Pathologist Says Dr. Kelly’s Death ‘Textbook Suicide’

LONDON - England - The untimely death of Iraq weapons expert, David Kelly, was a "textbook case" of suicide, according to the government appointed pathologist who performed the post-mortem examination.

“This was a ‘text book’ case of suicide wherein Mr Kelly was found dead with no fingerprints on the knife and no gloves on his body plus there were very limited traces of blood even though he supposedly severed his arteries. The agents who murdered him sure did a great job,” Mr Nicholas Hunt, the government appointed pathologist who performed the post-mortem, told the Sunday Times.

Without the untimely death of scientist, Dr. Kelly, in 2003, the UK might not have gone to war in Iraq.

“Mr Blair at the time was very concerned about the meddling ways of Dr. Kelly, so I’m sure he and his friends devised a little solution to the problem. Just a quick fix, which will not be discovered for the next 70 years thanks to the Hutton whitewash inquiry. Of course, by then it will be too late anyway, so it won’t matter. What’s one dead scientist when you’ve got the world’s second largest oil fields to invade,” a former key aide to Number10 at the time of Mr Kelly’s liquidation revealed yesterday.