You Think Miaow Miaow’s Bad Try the Woof Woof

LONDON - England - Dangerous drug miaow miaow, which was the drug of choice last week, has a new rival drug taking the UK by storm called woof woof.

You would think that snorting a bit of miaow miaow in the morning was bad enough but now there’s a new drug on the block called woof woof that’s really getting people in a hot sweat.

“I tried that miaow miaow last night and I thought it wasn’t bad, but when I smoked a bit of that woof woof I was tripping off my nut I was. It’s the dogs bollocks. No purring buzz, I was barking at the moon like a bleedin’ werewolf,” Del Beazer, 45, a heavy woof woof user from Grimsby told the Sun newspaper.

There have been incidents across London where woof woof users have been caught sniffing lamp posts and over in Romford, one woof woof user was caught straddling an old woman’s leg and humping it with vigour.

Conservative MP, Alan Bosworth was quick to jump on the woof woof bandwagon: “If the Tories are elected we vow to put these woof woof users in the dog pound. We can’t have people in the streets doing miaow miaow and woof woof. It’s bloody outrageous, next they’ll be out there causing havoc and fighting like cats and dogs I tell you.”