‘Unite’ Union to Change Name to ‘Destroy’

SCUNTHORPE - England - The Unite union which is responsible for the destruction of British Airways by encouraging its staff to strike, is to change its name to Destroy, union officials have revealed.

“We have decided that we will change our name to either ‘Destroy’ or ‘Divide’ because to tell you the truth ‘Unite’ does not describe what we really do,” Len McCluskey of Unite/Destroy told Labour’s state newspaper, the Mirror.

The union which is the Labour government’s biggest donor, with over £5 million donated per annum, was unrepentant after being accused of destroying Britain’s national airline.

“We have brought Unity in Destruction and Division for British Airways and their passengers. Let them revel in our work as their airline falls into even more debt and pain. I hope their passengers remember us as the union who ruined their journeys, postponed their once-in-a-lifetime trips and caused utter misery to everyone,” Mr McCluskey laughed as he drove off in his chauffeur driven Bentley to another meeting to discuss more destructive ways of ruining other companies.