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Taliban Use Hamsters as Bombs

HELMAND - Afghanistan - Cruel Taliban fighters are using hamsters as deadly bombs to attack Brit troops.

The latest terrorist ploy was uncovered when a sentry shot one galloping towards a military camp in Helmand province.

There was a huge blast when a detonator connected to it’s rear was lit with a flare.

Major Jeremy Huntingsford of the Rifles regiment said: “The insurgents have really outdone themselves”.

The Taliban train their hamsters in special training camps on the outskirts of Lashkar Gah and are so feared by the Brits that they have been dubbed the ‘Talihamsters’.

“These Talihamsters sometimes rush at our base ten to a dozen at a time. We’re living in abject terror every day. They can sneak under the door you know, or the Taliban toss them over the walls with catapults,” Major Huntingsford added.

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  1. The brain of a hamster is only tiny and can be as easily conditioned to make it act as a suicide bomber as the taliban himself. This threat could be easily met by releasing a judicious number of mechanical fleas (avoiding conflict with the RSPCA) that infest the hamsters as well as the talibans. Fitted with explosives manufactured by the method of nanotechnology, it wouldn’t be long before these minute robots make mince meat of these cruel talibans. They sure wouldn’t even have time to lift their headgears and scratch under their thick hair, which in any case would only precipitate the explosion. Keep this secret.

  2. Do they not have an RSPCA in Afghanistan? We should set one up in there immediatelyThis is absolutely awful will they not plunge to even more horrible depths in this horrible war?!?!?


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