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Geriatric Vampire Movie US Box Office Takings Record

LOS ANGELES - USA - Forget about the thousandth High School teen vampire flick. How about a movie that is enthralling vampire lovers all over the world?

Twilight Years
has smashed the record for box office takings in the US after it made
£85m in its first 24 hours of opening.

The film revolves around a group of geriatric vampires who have trouble with their teeth falling out when they try and bite their victims.

Twilight Years beat the previous record of Batman: The Dark Knight which made
£40m in its first 24 hours.

“Some of the vampires have to wear adult nappies and one even wears a colostomy bag, this can be quite cumbersome when approaching their prey and the whole film revolves around the challenges the aged vampires encounter,” the film’s director, Lugosi Bello told Hollywood Weekly.

The film, which cost just £30m to make, details a love affair between 98-year-old widower Nora Batty, played by Rachel Hannah, and 102-year-old war veteran vampire Winslow Sullen, played by Thomas Alberts.

Its success has been largely attributed to the charms of Alberts, who was
largely unknown a year ago but is now mobbed by old ladies wherever he

Unlike the vast amount of teen vampire films being released, this movie is a world apart and even includes a sex scene that has astounded cinema audiences with it’s ingenuity.

“People were bored of the same old Hollywood crap, we gave them something different for a change and you know what? They loved it,” the director added.

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  1. Sky at night – The remake is being filmed as we bask in the glorious sunset of sky news. The lead roles are filled by Mr and Mrs Murdoch, who are being shortlisted for the oscars for their ‘curtain dropping’ thirst for tribute from the smoking bones of civilisation they see in their dream. It is the undead clawing for the unconcerned, and is destined for the cutting room floor, and unhallowed ground.

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