Credit Crunch II Coming to a Cinema Near You

DUBAI - United Arab Emirates - It is set to be this year's major blockbuster and will hit our screens after Christmas -- Credit Crunch II, bigger and deeper than the first film in the franchise.

Directed by little known director, Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al-Maktoum, and starring a plethora of Western sports stars, the latest offering in the Credit Crunch series is set to be a real banking heist.

“This movie is going to be bigger and a lot deeper than the first one. You’re going to see the QE2 ship going down, demolitions of very high buildings and some incredible sand storm footage. If you watched 2012 recently, that was nothing, Credit Crunch II is going to make that pale into insignificance,” the director of the film told the Dubai Times yesterday.

The film will be released in the UK after Christmas, but all the cinemas will probably be out of business by then so who f*cking cares anyway.