Libya Adopts Scottish Bagpipes for National Anthem

TRIPOLI - Libya - The Libyan national anthem is to be played solely by bagpipes as a tribute to Scotland's release of the Lockerbie bomber says Colonel Gaddafi's chief musical director.

In honour of the release of the Lockerbie terrorist by Scotland’s parliament, Libyans are now adopting many Scottish traditions into their culture.

From now on the Libyan national anthem will be played solely with Scottish bagpipes, Colonel Gaddafi’s chief musical director has announced.

“We love Scotland and Scottish people. Last night I cooked a haggis and instead of wearing white sheets and a towel as clothes I am noo adopting the kilt, it is much better I tell you than wearing a big fuckin’ white dress. My bairn drinks his IRN-BRU and Scottish oats every day now and every household has a picture of Gordon Brown on our wall. He’s our favourite Scottish person. Aye, we got blooterd last night on some prime Scotch whisky ‘n’ all. When it came to bedtime last night I gots me boaby out and slapped one of my eight wives in the face wit’ it. She weren’t too pleased either but she wuz just as stocious as the bairn and me,” Mohammed al bin Abdul-Muhaimin, a resident of Tripoli told the Libyan State News Service.

Tripoli is teeming with saltires everywhere and pictures of Gordon Brown adorn all the spaces next to pictures of the colonel himself.

“Gordon Brown is an honourary Libyan now. We put Mr Brown’s handsome face next to our beloved Colonel Gaddafi. We have heard your Gordon Brown was also unelected as well. Our leaders have more in common than you think didnae think?” a spokesman for the Libyan Ministry of Foreign Affairs told Reuters.

Some Scottish traditions however have not been accepted as readily as others, for example, the Glasgow Kiss which is seen as a form of greeting in some parts of Glasgow has now been banned in Libya because of the violent nature of the salutation.

“Jings! Crivens! We are a peace loving people the noo ‘n’ do not care much for violence help ma boab!” another Libyan Foreign Ministry official opined.

  • Odonnell31Teri

    What the Scottish government did by letting Megrahi go early is a despicable act.

  • Jeremy from Washington

    I had booked a flight for my whole family with hotels rooms and everything…ain’t coming now. This fucker is still alive, the Brits are traitors for what they did.


  • WTF???


  • JD Richards

    Who’d want to go to Scotland anyway? Their women are ugly, food is awful, it rains all the time and you can’t understand a word anyone says, Fuck that i’m going to Hawaii instead

  • Gullag XII

    As an Englishman I do not normally support the Scots (they are happy to reciprocate). But to hear the ‘septics’ bitching on about terrorism makes me reach for my kilt and sporran. Where was the support for the UK during the IRA troubles? You are right….nothing; all down to perhaps loosing the US-Irish vote. But when it reaches the US, do they squeal like stuck pigs. And this from a country that supports jail without evidence or charges, and ‘water boarding’ that even the Gestapo used rarely. Hypocrisy?

  • Herb Willis

    Our school was coming over to the UK for a literary tour but we have now canceled. Our party of 60 would have amounted to some revenue for the UK but we are now going to Ireland instead after the recent terrible Lockerbie decision.


    We should boycott Susan Boyle’s album which will be released soon. That should learn ’em!

  • gordon

    Highly amusing article.Would have been more so as audio. Stuff the yanks no time for them these entire nation of dimwits ruled by special interests groups and out and out criminals.Don’t want them or their ‘business’.

  • Screw Scotland

    As Americans we contribute a great deal to the Scottish tourism economy. Well, not anymore. You guys are now bottom of the pile, hell, I’d visit Iran before going to Scotland now.

  • tarby

    The yanks are the biggest terrorists in the world and thy’re telling us what to do? Fuck you fat trigger happy pissants!

    Eat shit yankee pussies, remember where the biggest funding for the I.R.A came from? America!!!!

    Scotland Rools!!!!

  • J.C

    Screw the Americans they have no moral authority to dictate anything to Scotland. I find this article amusing but on a serious note we acted with compassion to a dying man. The Americans would not know compassion if it hit them in the face, they’re all a bunch of gun toting psychopaths anyway.

  • Disgusted in America

    We were planning a trip to Scotland but after this outrage are not going to come. You just lost our business. I’m ashamed that some of my relatives are from Scottish lines…

  • Keith

    looks like we’re overdue for another government coverup. I saw Scandelson on the news yesterday..his lips were moving so i knew he was lying straight away.