Libya Adopts Scottish Bagpipes for National Anthem

TRIPOLI - Libya - The Libyan national anthem is to be played solely by bagpipes as a tribute to Scotland's release of the Lockerbie bomber says Colonel Gaddafi's chief musical director.

In honour of the release of the Lockerbie terrorist by Scotland’s parliament, Libyans are now adopting many Scottish traditions into their culture.

From now on the Libyan national anthem will be played solely with Scottish bagpipes, Colonel Gaddafi’s chief musical director has announced.

“We love Scotland and Scottish people. Last night I cooked a haggis and instead of wearing white sheets and a towel as clothes I am noo adopting the kilt, it is much better I tell you than wearing a big fuckin’ white dress. My bairn drinks his IRN-BRU and Scottish oats every day now and every household has a picture of Gordon Brown on our wall. He’s our favourite Scottish person. Aye, we got blooterd last night on some prime Scotch whisky ‘n’ all. When it came to bedtime last night I gots me boaby out and slapped one of my eight wives in the face wit’ it. She weren’t too pleased either but she wuz just as stocious as the bairn and me,” Mohammed al bin Abdul-Muhaimin, a resident of Tripoli told the Libyan State News Service.

Tripoli is teeming with saltires everywhere and pictures of Gordon Brown adorn all the spaces next to pictures of the colonel himself.

“Gordon Brown is an honourary Libyan now. We put Mr Brown’s handsome face next to our beloved Colonel Gaddafi. We have heard your Gordon Brown was also unelected as well. Our leaders have more in common than you think didnae think?” a spokesman for the Libyan Ministry of Foreign Affairs told Reuters.

Some Scottish traditions however have not been accepted as readily as others, for example, the Glasgow Kiss which is seen as a form of greeting in some parts of Glasgow has now been banned in Libya because of the violent nature of the salutation.

“Jings! Crivens! We are a peace loving people the noo ‘n’ do not care much for violence help ma boab!” another Libyan Foreign Ministry official opined.