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Chancellor Merkel: Islamic Men Allowed Six German Wives Each

BERLIN - Germany - Speaking at the Bundestag on Monday, Chancellor Angela Merkel has stipulated that each Islamic male is allowed to keep a small harem of German women.


“We must adhere to the rules and culture of Islam. It is a patriarchal religion where each man is allowed six wives. I am asking all German women to be understanding to these rituals. When the man comes home, the women must wash his feet, prepare a feast and have a clean home. Then, in the evening, the man will choose which woman he is to sleep with, or maybe all at the same time. We must as Germans also adhere to covering up in public as is the custom in Islam. Women who do not adhere to these rules will be subject to EU Sharia law.”

In every town in Germany, there will now be markets where men can inspect women and check if they are worthy of the harem.

“If you are a man of great importance in Islam, you can have hundreds of concubines, but for every other Muslim five or six women is acceptable. Many Islamic men are in paradise in Europe already. The women here are mostly blonde, fair skinned, with good teeth, and have amazing bodies, therefore it is truly a gift from Allah that Merkel has let us into the country. We’re going to be digging for awhile, as the German Christian men are feeble and mostly homosexuals. Thank you Angela, now excuse me got to get back to my harem of nubile German seductresses,” Ibn bin Waled, who only arrived in Hamburg two months ago and is an exceedingly busy man, told Bild magazine.


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  1. This is total rubbish, people please read about Islam before criticizing or adhering to any misguided lie about it by lunatics like this one. there is no truth about any of things in Islam, mention above. Firstly there is no such thing about a Muslim man marring six wives, the maximum wives one can marry is 4 wives.

    Secondly, he does not choose whom he sleeps with because there usually a routine arranged by the man or the wives, were each of his wives has a fair and equal portion of his time(days) but most definitely cannot sleep with all of the at the same time not even the same day . For the matter of washing his feet, preparing feast, cleaning etc. they are merely responsibilities and previlages not obligations on wives to their husbands. one they may choose not to do instead hire a help or mad to, which could put their marriage at risk (husband, mad affair) the same goes for the men. And the is no such thing as “MARKETS” where men inspect and select worthy women, its just absurd. And in Islam, women have the right to who they want to marry.

    Thirdly, Islam does not recognize concubines. A woman is either your wife or not and if not then you( a muslim man) cannot have any intimate relationship with her vice verse.

  2. Great, we go from a proud nation, taken over by one sicko group in the 30s and 40s, and now we are giving into another sicko group. Germans must stop paying for past issues and stand up for their right to be their own people! Germany is not Muslim, have never been Muslim and the government should not be allowing a foreign entity to dictate what is German culture. They are the visitors who joined Germany, Germany did not join them!

  3. Very funny. On a serious note, Islam is the sickest philosophy on the face of the earth.

  4. it is ironic to see that some stupids here are making fun of Islam but they do not realize that this is a mock news..

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