Chancellor Merkel: Islamic Men Allowed Six German Wives Each

BERLIN - Germany - Speaking at the Bundestag on Monday, Chancellor Angela Merkel has stipulated that each Islamic male is allowed to keep a small harem of German women.

 

“We must adhere to the rules and culture of Islam. It is a patriarchal religion where each man is allowed six wives. I am asking all German women to be understanding to these rituals. When the man comes home, the women must wash his feet, prepare a feast and have a clean home. Then, in the evening, the man will choose which woman he is to sleep with, or maybe all at the same time. We must as Germans also adhere to covering up in public as is the custom in Islam. Women who do not adhere to these rules will be subject to EU Sharia law.”

In every town in Germany, there will now be markets where men can inspect women and check if they are worthy of the harem.

“If you are a man of great importance in Islam, you can have hundreds of concubines, but for every other Muslim five or six women is acceptable. Many Islamic men are in paradise in Europe already. The women here are mostly blonde, fair skinned, with good teeth, and have amazing bodies, therefore it is truly a gift from Allah that Merkel has let us into the country. We’re going to be digging for awhile, as the German Christian men are feeble and mostly homosexuals. Thank you Angela, now excuse me got to get back to my harem of nubile German seductresses,” Ibn bin Waled, who only arrived in Hamburg two months ago and is an exceedingly busy man, told Bild magazine.