President Bush tonight awarded America’s highest civilian honour to Tony Blair in a ceremony at the White House.
The outgoing President said Mr Blair was “a true friend of the United States”.
The former Prime Minister knelt in front of the President as the final reward for his service was bestowed upon him. “He will stand tall in history,” President Bush said. “And today the United States proudly honours its gallant friend Tony Blair. You may start sucking now Tony.”
The President, who will be replaced by Barack Obama in seven days time, appeared to wink at Mr Blair after the dirty deed was done.
President Bush said that they both had a lot in common and he “jokingly said that we both lied to the people and were responsible for millions of deaths worldwide as well as ruining our nations economies whilst lining our own pockets”.
President Bush said that when America faced the first great challenge of his Administration, Mr Blair was on hand to offer his assistance and some much needed relief.
“He was there for my moment of trial,” the President told a gathering of dignitaries and personal friends of Mr Blair. “I will miss you Tony.”
The equally nauseating idiot, John Howard, the former Australian Prime Minister, was also at the ceremony and even came prepared with his own pair of knee pads.
George Bush himself was later honoured with the presentation of an Iraqi shoe on a ribbon.