Imgbo Wakusi, 28, a convicted murderer and cannibal, was anxious about the travel chaos at the French port: “I checked the news. I had already got the caravan ready, tires pumped and the oil topped up. It’s pretty scary that all this sort of thing is going on. Can’t these people act like civilised human beings? I’ve got a good mind to write to my local MP.”
The French government was unapologetic about the travel chaos created by British people travelling on their holidays and blamed the UK government.
“Naturally, it is the Ros Beef fault. They’re not allowing millions of people from the Third World to travel freely into their stupid little island. We are going to great lengths to open the borders for the African travellers to go to Britain, but no, the English swine stop us doing our job,” Pierre Dumerde, a senior official at the Calais port revealed.