U.S. Police Shot Man For Two Hours Non Stop But Had 15 Min. Break

ARLINGTON - USA - There were no scenes of outrage or protests today as news filtered through about a new police shooting jamboree.

Dwayne Johnsons, 18, had been stopped for buying a packet of biscuits at a local store in Arlington, Kentucky by a troop of 64 police officers on neighbourhood patrol.

When the boy refused requests to stop eating the biscuits he was first tasered continuously by 17 officers for approximately twenty minutes. The tasering had minimal effect on Johnsons so officers started unloading live ammunition into the victim’s pulsating corpse for nearly two hours solid.

“First we started on his back for one hour, then on the one hour twenty mark we had a lil donut break. Sarge went back to his cruiser and got us some more ammo and shotguns. We resumed shooting what was left of the body, and by the end we were shootin’ scraps of meat across the car park.”

The officers were commended for their bravery in the line of duty, especially as the young man was deaf, dumb and blind and could have caused serious damage to no one in particular. No further investigation is going to take place because the boy was not black but of South East Asian heritage.