“Why spend billions on a useless fucking rail link that will carve up the countryside and be of little benefit to the populace, when we have a much more urgent problem to deal with — the Scots.
“Our plan is to scrap the HS2 rail link and channel the money into building a 400 foot high wall separating Scotland from England. Much like the Romans did 1,500 odd years ago, however this time the walls will be guarded by automated gun turrets and electric shock deterrents,” Henry Davenplatter, head engineer for the HW2 project told parliament today.
SNP leader, Nicola Sturgeon today released a communique via a raid on some English villages along the border.
“We will burn your homes down. No HW2 project can stop us. The Romans were a bunch of toga wearing ponces, what chance do ye Southern bastards have?”