17.7 C
London
Tuesday, June 25, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldEU: Greece Must Endure Austerity For 30 Years

EU: Greece Must Endure Austerity For 30 Years

ATHENS - Greece - The winds waft an ominous stench from the hills and mountains of Northern Europe onto the tiny backwater Aegean nation struggling under the weight of debt and profligacy.

“It is imperative that Greece stays with the austerity course for the next 30-40 years if it wants to stay in the EU. This means selling more olive oil and Greek yoghurt. If there is anything else you guys can sell or do, please do it because you need some serious cash to pay your EU debtors,” Jurgen Scheissegruber, EU Austerity Kontrol technician told Das Zweiten today.

Greek Cyprus Style Bail-in

The next tranche of austerity may begin in a few weeks time and will involve a Cyprus type bank raid by the EU on Greek deposit holders.

“It is quite simple, if we cannot have our money back by installing one of our technicians to run your country, and you install someone who is against austerity, we will simply get the money from your bank accounts. You know, like how we did in Cyprus with your Greek Cypriot cousins. Any deposit in a Greek bank over 8,000 euros will be confiscated. You kids gotta learn the hard way, then let it be so. Next time don’t be so lazy and spend those EU subsidies on luxuries you cannot afford. Look at you now, stop begging, get off my shoe you schweinhund,” a visiting EU technocrat told a Greek delegation.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »