Wimbledon officials were today finalising a deal for tennis blockhead Nick Kyrgios to be displayed at London zoo’s ape house.
“We think the zoo will be the best place for Kyrgios. He will be cared for and given branches to swing from, as well as plenty of bananas,” Penny Cantwell, the zoo’s ape house senior keeper, revealed today.
Kyrgios is said to be from Australia and is a rare specimen who can hit objects very hard.
“He is quite dangerous and can hit balls very hard, including your own, if you’re not fucking careful,” one of the umpires from Wimbledon commented.
Ginny Wintertrout, 14, was excited by the new attraction at London zoo’s ape house.
“I cannot wait to see the new ape the zoo will be displaying. I have heard he is very wild and even spits at people. It’s a good thing there is a big glass window in the way.”