17.7 C
London
Thursday, March 28, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSportsUpper Classes Flocking to NASCAR

Upper Classes Flocking to NASCAR

MANHATTAN - USA - America's upper classes are swarming to NASCAR racing, according to Forbes magazine.

buy squib book

“I grew my first mullet haircut and instead of champagne I now drink Schitz beer. I used to frequent Polo clubs, but it is so passée now. Look at my beer belly. It was cultivated with great ardour. NASCAR is the sport of the elite now. Just seeing those cars go round and round and round for hours on end. It’s terribly exciting,” Giles Farnsworth II, an Ivy League graduate and trust fund kid, told Forbes.

The NASCAR look takes months to cultivate and some are even having hair grafts on their backs.

“You gotta have a hairy back and your arms have to drag on the ground. It’s called the NASCAR shuffle. Once you get your knuckles dragging on the ground when you walk, you know you made it into NASCAR nirvana. I mean, I feel like I’m part of the crew now,” an investment banker for Goldman Sachs revealed track side.

There has been a backlash from regular NASCAR fans however to the influx of well-bred NASCAR wannabees.

“What the f*ck is going on here? Why don’t they just go back to their exclusive clubs? I seen one dude with a mullet the wrong way round, and when he was driving his 1986 Camaro to the NASCAR race he forgot to put the fluffy dice on the mirror,” Ted Johnson, an angry car mechanic, and NASCAR fan from Detroit revealed.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »