A debilitating viral personality disorder, Celebriscientitis, has been sweeping through the scientific community, according to a joint WHO–CDC report. Dr B Polar from Seattle University explains, “The virus that triggers this disorder seems to target low-tier science researchers in the early stages of their careers. The main symptom is a rapid inflammation of ego and increased narcissism … with patients’ original personalities being lost forever. The onset of this disease is brutally fast … one minute they are doing mundane lab experiments, the next they are on THE ONE SHOW or OPRAH … using analogy after analogy to explain how the Universe works.”
Health experts fear the world will simply have to live with this disease … there being no cure on the horizon. One ex-researcher from Manchester, with beautiful teeth and a trendy trim, exclaimed “Things can only get better” … thanks Brian!