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Zuckerberg to Play Icarus in New Facebook IPO Movie

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Speaking from Fox studios in Hollywood, movie executive, Chaim Golder, said: “The new film is going to be amazing. We’re going to have Mark soaring up into the sky high up flying with his wings. He’ll get so high, he’ll want to go higher and higher and higher, until he gets too close to the sun. The wax that holds his wings together will slowly melt and he will start to fall, lower and lower and lower. Much like the share price of Facebook once the IPO is over.”

Zuckerberg was said to be excited about starring in the top Hollywood production and is keen to get into a pair of wings to flap around the Facebook campus and show his friends.

“The film is going to be great, it’s going to be like a bubble bursting, like a rock falling to the ground so fast that it makes a crater. I can’t wait for my new IPO so I can make billions in paper profits, then see it all disappear into the ether in one minute when all the shorters get hold of it and have their fun,” Zuckerberg said from the Facebook canteen, on Tuesday.

The new Icarus film will be released in July 2013, by that time the Facebook share price should be at 19 cents.

Global Economic Collapse and Other Fun Things

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 The banks have orchestrated a spectacular coup de grâce on the world’s populations with a huge crisis that will affect everyone for generations to come. These robber barons have robbed and pillaged every penny from the slave worker bees, but they want more, much more.

The looming crisis will make 2008 look like a picnic in the park, and there are sure to be riots in the streets of every major world city because of the nature of the human condition; without food or security for you and your family, what are you going to do if you were not prepared? Exactly as planned, you will try and go into the streets to get food and water for you and your family. You will probably be met with soldiers and riot police, but that is not the problem of the bankers and the politicians. They do not care, they never have, and they never will.

America will be sucked into the debt maelstrom that has been concocted in Europe in 2012, and will be worse than the Fanny Mae, Freddy Mac saga of 2008. With the American streets shut off and martial law enforced by the US military, the FEMA camps will be full of people, confused, hungry and most of all angry at the situation they have found themselves in. The Katrina disaster is an example of what it would be like. When people will be begging to go to FEMA camps for food, you know things can’t get any worse than that. There they will find the end of the American dream and the beginning of the American nightmare.

The next phase of the economic crisis will threaten your way of life, as you have been lulled into a sense of security and apathy now, you will wake up from your slumber to something so terrible that you will wish you had woken up earlier before the bankers and elite had set this crisis up.

When Goldman Sachs says everything is alright and you should buy, that’s when you sell everything you have, when they say sell, that’s when you buy. There has never been a more evil, baby sacrificing firm as Goldman Sachs, an inhuman breed of demons who would sell their own children to dog pit owners so they could be torn limb from limb for entertainment and profit. These people have no conscience, no souls, no morals or one ounce of love in their black hearts. They kill millions in a millisecond without batting an eyelid, and condemn billions to purgatory with every stale breath. They are the architects of evil on earth and when all hell breaks loose, they will sit out the purging of the populations in their luxury bunkers sipping champagne and getting their dicks sucked by the privileged whores who were allowed to live with their masters.

Debts don’t just disappear, and bailouts are never a fix for fundamental faults. Since J.P. Morgan created the credit default swap, the time bomb of economic destruction was ticking away.

Let us also not forget Bill Clinton and democrats like Barack Obama who pushed for poor Americans to be given mortgages they could not possibly afford and were thus the precursor for the 2008 sub-prime crisis.

The next phase of the plan will dramatically reduce people’s savings, destroy businesses, saving accounts, investments and pensions.

Everything will change, you will not be able to go on holiday anymore, or surf your facebook page or watch the latest banal Kardashian reality show on your TV box.

What happens to commodity prices during major crisis? They rise to impossible levels, milk, bread, petrol prices soar, credit cards will not work anymore and banks simply close their doors. Empty supermarket shelves cannot feed you or your family. The governments today do not have an answer to the question of sustainability. There are no mentions of ‘economic growth’ because they know full well that under the current system, there is no solution to the problem of increasing population and decreasing resources. Eventually the laws of physics catch up to the lies, and this is what is happening now. They held off the inevitable with lies for so long that there is no time left for them and they know full well that the day of reckoning is upon them. Will the people wake up from the lies they have been fed for so long? Probably not, even when everything is taken away from them, they will still trust their masters, even when they are being systematically liquidated, they will still believe their masters and they will obey without question.

The U.S. Dollar is today the world’s reserve primary currency, and if this were to change, there would be grave danger for Americans especially as everything they purchase is in the primary currency of the world.

The U.S. government has borrowed so much money that there will come a time very soon from now when they will not be able to pay back even the interest on the loans. Much like Greece has done, the U.S. is unfortunately so much in debt that even if they took away all the interest and everyone in the country worked seven days a week for the next fifty years and taxed 100% of their income, they would still not be able to pay back the interest on the debt.

If America goes, what hope for little minnows like Britain or other countries in the world? Well, the UK does not have as much debt as America but unfortunately it is tied to Europe, and this will be its undoing as it is sucked up by the EU to adopt the euro currency. There will be no option as Britain’s weak politicians capitulate to the might of Germany. Britain may have won two world wars, but it will lose the third world war, which is the economic one.

America has more debt than the European Union combined and eventually they will have nowhere to go, because the interest alone on the debt will not be sustainable. What are they going to do, borrow more or print more cash devaluing the dollar to nothing? Imagine hauling a suitcases of dollars around to buy a loaf of bread, the Germans know full well what that feels like.

The almighty U.S. Dollar is the world’s reserve currency and with this in mind, Americans have never had to pay for their imports in a foreign currency, not like other countries have to buy dollars first to buy anything. Well the dollar as the world’s reserve currency is the reason why Americans do not need to manufacture anything in America, or pay for high oil prices. This is why they can fill up their gas tanks for less than a cup of tea in the UK. This is what they have been living off for the past thirty years, if they get into a spot of bother, they just print a bit more money and mess around with the interest rates a little bit. Otherwise, it’s spend, spend, spend. Just ask Barack Obama about the spending, he knows full well what the situation is, but he’ll be in his bunker, with Michelle and the kids reading bed time stories while up above them all hell will be breaking loose.

As America spends and spends and spends, its consumption-led way of life will end abruptly soon enough when its biggest creditors realise that there is no end to the spending. China knows full well that America is in serious trouble and will not be able to pay back its debts and they are now pushing for a new reserve currency for the world. China has also been dumping its American debt and diversifying in other currencies, even the troubled euro is preferable to the dollar for the Chinese.

When America loses its reserve currency status, things will get harder for the leading spender in the world. Everything in America will suddenly get really expensive, European prices times ten and then some.

The British Pound Sterling used to be the world’s reserve currency, that is until the socialist Labour party devalued it in the 1970s resulting in the 1978 Winter of Discontent. One must understand that the U.S. situation would be multiplied a thousand times over and instead of rotting bins in the streets, there could very well be rotting carcasses. America is a tinderbox waiting to go off, with so many armed to the teeth and on anti-depressents, it will literally implode from within with the fury of the rampaging armed populace.

When America lost its AAA rating recently, that very act also added to the misery of the U.S. economy because it will mean that the debts will be even harder to pay off,  although it would have been impossible to pay off even with a AAA.

As for jobs? Where are they? American companies, already on the backfoot are laying off people left, right and centre. The skewed Obama unemployment statistics only count the people who are on benefits, which are for a very limited time in America, not like the UK. Once people lose their unemployment benefits, they are not counted anymore, but they are still UNEMPLOYED.

With 48 million Americans on foodstamps, and a growing number of permanently unemployed citizens begging for work, who is going to pay off America’s debts?

We are revisiting 1937 all over again and one only has to read a history book to realise what is coming.

Greece: One Picture Says it All

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What would Plato, Socrates and Aristotle say if they could view their fellow Greeks now?

“It’s OK we’re taking your pensions, your stocks, economies and everything else down with us. We spent the money, now we won’t pay it back, and we’re going to take the whole West down the plug hole. Such is our lot in life, we are the victims here, we binged on Porsche Cayennes, luxury yachts; built hi-tech rail systems and squandered every penny from the Germans. We lied to get into the Euro because we knew it would be a gravy train, we got Goldman to cook the books, they did a great job and fooled everyone including the Germans. Now the Krauts want their money back. Well, screw them, we want to retire at 30, have three hour lunches and work two day weeks. W’ell also make the Brits pay for our gluttony too. We don’t want to pay tax and we don’t want to pay back the money we owe, but we still want to stay in the euro currency, because we’re the victims here — of our own corruption,” the fifth Greek finance minister in a week, Christos Papalopolopo, told Greek news crews yesterday.

Another Greek politician said: “People should stop knocking us Greeks; all we want to do is stay in the euro without following any of the rules, not pay our debts and continue borrowing money from the same people we just told to f*ck off….what’s the problem?”

ZDF ‘The Greek Lie’

Elton John's Baby Caught Trying to Escape Again

“We caught him in the lobby. He had clamped his mouth on a woman’s bosom and was suckling like mad. Poor little blighter, we had to drag him away and he left scratch marks on the concierge’s desk,” Elton John’s bodyguard told the New York Times.

The poor baby was then sent up to the apartment to be with the couple, who unfortunately cannot give the little boy what he really needs.

“Whenever we take him to public places he tries to grab women’s breasts and makes gurgling noises. He gets very upset indeed and starts crying for his mummy. My husband and I really do not know what on earth is wrong,” Elton John’s husband, David Furnish told CBS news.

Greek Olympic Torch Making Its Way to London Games

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The Olympic ceremony began with a complete riot, when thousands of Greek anti-austerity protestors broke through the barricades of the ancient Olympic site and started throwing Molotov cocktails everywhere.

The ceremonial torch bearer — a Greek policeman — was doused in flames as a Molotov cocktail and petrol can was tossed at him.

“I am proud to be the Olympic flame this year,” Stavros Scorchio, the burning riot policeman told national Greek news stations.

In seventy days time, the Olympic torchbearer will make his way to London, England, even though the poor chap may be burnt to a crisp by then.

“We’re going to carry the flame of the Olympic spirit through Tottenham, Clapham and Brixton. It’s going to be wicked, innit. I might even be tempted to nick some trainers on the way to the stadium,” another policeman, who was also on fire, told the BBC.

Euro Will Only Work If Britain Is Head of Single EU Government

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“We will not join unless we are given the post at the head of the table,” British PM, David Cameron told the Daily Mail today.

EU politicians have conceded that the UK is a special case that will have to be treated with care when handled.

“The EU will not survive unless we have the UK as part of the eurozone, and the way to entice them into the single currency is by waving the carrot of regency in front of their noses. If they think they are so important, they can join and we can make them feel important. Such is the ‘superior’ stance of the British, they treat Europe like a self-service buffet restaurant, where they come and take what they want then go back to their little island. So, comrades, it is apparent to me that we need to dupe these people with a sense of importance that they think they deserve. We suckered all the other countries to join, so the UK will be the last bastion of the European superstate,” an unnamed, unelected EU bureaucrat told Euronews Daily.

The previous Labour government paved the way for the EU British euro inclusion with the mass immigration program that has changed the face of Britain forever. They also tied the government to treaties in the EU forcing the UK to shore up the crumbling eurozone with billions of British pounds.

Speaking from parliament, a former Labour cabinet member admitted that its policies were a godsend to Brussels.

“Tony Blair’s and Gordon Brown’s policies were to weaken the UK to such a level that in the future there will be no choice but to join the euro. As for David Cameron, he promised the people a referendum on Europe before he was elected, he reneged on this promise for a very good reason, his EU bosses have his hands tied, and they promise him great riches if he pulls the final plug on the UK. Britain will be sold off, as easily as the UK’s gold reserves were sold off at the bottom of the market by Gordon Brown. We brought in millions of immigrants from the poorest countries in Eastern Europe and Asia, because we knew that it will be perfect preparation for the final solution for Britain. You cannot have an EU entry for the UK with a united Britain, with families together and the indigenous populations intact. Without the family units, without the jobs, without the cohesive togetherness of a population, they are free to be corrupted by the EU. Divide and conquer, this time used on the populations of Britain instead of colonial populations, will weaken resistance to the inevitable assimilation into the eurozone. This technique, has of course been utilised for centuries by many who wanted to weaken populations. The Labour party should be applauded for its positive EU stance and its primary role in bringing the UK into the euro. We have laid the groundwork, David Cameron will finish what we started, as you all know, we all work for the same boss. He will give the people no choice but to join the euro currency.”

Google Robot Cars Involved in Road Rage Incident

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“These cars were trying to go through an intersection, when one of the robot cars cut up the other robot car. They started to sound their horns and were jerking left and right. Then the doors opened and one of the robot cars started to tell the other robot car to “back off jack off, or get the crowbar”. It was real scary,” Augustine Sherry, a shocked observer to the altercation told CBS news.

Another witness said: “I didn’t know robot cars could swear like that. I felt the air go blue around the car as it freaked out, there was steam coming out of its engine compartment. The car even had a plastic robot hand that popped out of the front and it flipped the other car the bird. They sho’ gots a temper.”

Computer scientists who programmed the robot cars were quickly on the scene to calm the scary situation down.

“We got the call and were immediately on our way from the googleplex to the scene of the robot car roadrage incident. Looks like we need to adjust the algorithms a little. It took us a while to calm the cars down, but we promised them they could watch more episodes of the original series of Knightrider and they calmed down,” Al Getchya, one of the google scientists told local news stations.

Four google robot cars are now on probation and will be disciplined with a software downgrade.

At Least Sarkozy Got to Keep His New Hat

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“At least I get to keep my ‘at. I shall take it home and polish it and cherish it for the rest of my pitiful life,” Mr Sarkozy said from his chauffeur driven car making its way away from the Elysee palace.

The spectacular hat was the height of fashion during the Merkozy years and Nicolas would wear it sometimes even to bed.

His wife, Carla Bruni, recalled: “Sarko would come to bed late most nights and he would be wearing his ‘at. I would say to him that it’s going to do someone an injury some time and poke their eye out. He just laughed it off and would lie on his pillow with it. So proud he was with it, because he would polish it everyday without fail and would gaze at it so lovingly.”

Mr Sarkozy utilised the German made hat to also gain a few inches of height. Without the hat he was only 3’9 but with the hat on and his special shoes he would be a towering 4’3″.

“I was not only a towering political figure during my heyday eh? You should have seen me strutting around the place with my ‘at and a fierce determination to screw the French people for everything they had,” a laughing Mr Sarkozy added.

Tortured 911 'Masterminds' Confess to Anything

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“Are you trying to tell me that a bunch of Arabs who could not fly airplanes conducted highly skilled manoeuvres on very complicated machines at 650 mph to crash into the twin towers? Are you trying to tell me that the towers just crumbled like a pack of cards that defied the laws of gravity with their speed? Are you trying to tell me that Tower 7 just collapsed out of nowhere even though it was not hit by a single rock or crumb? Are you trying to tell me that a 757 fit into a tiny hole in the Pentagon and that an Arab dude who did not know how to fly an airplane flew it perfectly three feet over the Pentagon lawn smashing the plane through many levels of reinforced concrete and steel walls? Let’s look at the facts here. Who profited from 911? Cui bono? Certainly was not any Arab,” a disgusted lawyer said from the mainland USA.

There is legitimacy in the fact that if you torture someone enough, they will confess to anything.

“That’s true. These guys could’ve confessed to Mickey Mouse eating out their sisters, if it was so wished,” another lawyer said.

Even these people who are being held by the Americans had anything to do with 911, they certainly would not be able to mastermind such an operation, because it would take the logistics of an agency much larger than a few people to pull off.

“The American government didn’t scramble one single fighter jet plane during the 911 attacks. George W Bush did not leave his class room. If you read the PNAC you will read in plain sight that the 911 ‘Pearl Harbour event’ was planned many years in advance. Any Arabs working for the so-called ‘jihadist’ bogey men do not know who they are actually working for at the top of the pyramid. They are told they are working for Allah purely to motivate the brainwashed pawns. They only see someone a few tiers below the actual person or agency which is really pulling the strings. Islam is now the new bogey, the new pariah, the new enemy that America needed after the death of the Cold War threat. The threat of Islamic terrorism has been used by countless governments to close down democratic freedom and bring in pre-planned draconian laws,” a political theorist from Washington DC told Capitol Hill News.

Wealthy French to Leave Sinking Ship France

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One thing that is normal in business and finance is that socialists make stock markets go down and right wingers make it go up. In the case of Sarkozy, even though he was a right winger, he still managed to cock up the markets, but the general rule usually remains about the markets. Socialists are only good at spending other people’s money, and when that runs out they just put the taxes up to huge levels.

Sarkozy’s gypsy curse has finally been realised, and as he was cursed by the Roma gypsies not too long ago when he rudely deported many out of France, he may even learn a lesson when he is packing his bling bling luggage from the Elysee palace tonight, like don’t f*ck with gypsy curses ever.

The new French president, Mr Hollande, is bound to introduce a financial transaction tax which will further isolate the UK.

“Soak the rich”

“One thing is for sure. Once the socialists take over France, tax will be raised to 75% for the wealthy who own income above one million euros. If you are rich, why would you want to give away €750,000 of your income to a socialist welfare system that pisses away your hard earned cash?  This is why I am selling up immediately. Socialists have little or no understanding of finance, or business and this is why whenever they are in power, they literally f*ck everything up,” Julien Pauvre, a retired shopkeeper and businessman from Lyons told Le Figaro.

The departure of France’s business people, entrepreneurs and the young for opportunities overseas will leave the country as a basic shell of itself and stifle all business.

“Socialism is a system that punishes innovation and business. There is nothing to work for, there is no hope for anyone who wants to work for a better life and build a business. This is why there will be a mass exodus now that Hollande has won,” another scared French businessman said.

The only thing missing in this revolution is a guillotine or two and Sarko and his cronies being led away for the chop in front of the braying crowds.

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