Aussie Athletes Shipped to Australia After Nicking Gold Medals From Brits

LONDON - England - The Brits have been winning gold medals by the dozen and some Aussies have been caught stealing.

With only two gold medals by the Australian Olympic team, the Aussies have now resorted to stealing the medals from British athletes.

“Stop there thief!”

Britain now has eighteen Olympic gold medals as opposed to only two Australian gold medals.

Police constable, Gerald Whittington of the Metropolitan police, has described an incident where some of the Australian athletes, who did not win any Olympic medals, were caught stealing gold medals at Olympic venues.

“We caught the Aussies red handed, they went into the changing rooms and tried to pilfer our athletes’ gold medals. Just because they can’t win any themselves. Well, it’s off to a prison colony for you scallywags.”

The Australian athletes were shipped to Port Jackson from Portsmouth yesterday and the ship carrying over two hundred criminals will get to Australia some time next year.

“We hope to start a new colony over there, but first we will have to build some prisons to hold the new colonists,” Admiral Stanley Pitkin, told the BBC.