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Bike Riding in China Good Fitness Guide

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“I get up in the morning. Put on my gas mask and get on my bike. I like to go through the white smoke racing here, racing there. I wear gloves or my skin hurts with the acid in the air. When I come home I decontaminate my clothes and change the filter in my gas mask,” Xian Ling, 23, a keen bicycle rider from Tianjing revealed.

This year alone 589,000,000 Chinese people took up cycling and the trend seems to be growing. Every year 589,000,000 people die from toxic air pollution so everything evens out.

“My friend Xing Ziang went over a cliff the other day because of the atmosphere he could not see where he was going. It was very sad, we could not find the body because we cannot see more than 12 inches in front of us,” Kwan Ji, another young bike rider revealed who has since died by riding his bicycle under a 20 tonne truck.

Minister for Leisure, Tian Shin, was adamant that the toxic chemicals people breathe during bike rides are not a cause for alarm.

“The air is clean. We urge all people to breathe in the air deeply. Bike riding is good for respiration and exercise. Come to China, see for yourself.”

Backtracking Cameron Not Sure Whether to Buy Pair of Flip Flops

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With news filtering through that David Cameron’s EU proposals have been deemed illegal by the president of the European Parliament and the PM backtracking on his proposals, it seems the PM is also flip flopping on his decision to buy a new pair of flip flops.

“I said I wished to buy these flip flops but now I am questioning whether to buy them or maybe I should buy one flip and leave the other flop in the shop. If I was to somehow borrow the flip flop or rent it for the summer months, although I am yet undecided about what colour to get them in, or the particular design of the flip flop, maybe the shop owner can decide for me, or my beautiful wife. I have now this minute decided to buy a pair of flip flops, oh wait a second, I wish to backtrack on that, I wish to look at the flip flop in the shop window and think about buying it at a future date in time, in fact why buy flip flops during the winter months? Let’s just say these flip flops that I wish to purchase should maybe only be bought in the summer, when flip flopping is all too prevalent, especially in Portugal. My adviser from Brussels just called me to say I should pretend to buy the flip flops but hold back at the last moment and maybe get a better deal. I think this is a great flip flopping idea but I still have my reservations on the efficacy of this strategy however I will hold another meaningless consultation with some flip flop experts and proceed from there, or maybe not.”

EU to Ban Linking to Other Sites Citing Copyright Protection

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Non-creative sites like Drudgereport and Infowars, who simply link to other news sources to garner huge amounts of revenue for themselves (aggregrators), may be punished with vast fines in the future when the EU goes ahead with its new law.

“A precondition for a well-functioning market place for copyright is the possibility for right

holders to license and be paid for the use of their content, including content distributed online.

The production of rich and diverse creative content and innovative online services are part of

the same equation. Both — creative content and online services — are important for growth

and jobs and the success of the internet economy.

There is, however, growing concern about whether the current EU copyright rules make sure

that the value generated by some of the new forms of online content distribution is fairly

shared, especially where right holders cannot set licensing terms and negotiate on a fair basis

with potential users. This state of affairs is not compatible with the digital single market’s

ambition to deliver opportunities for all and to recognise the value of content and of the

investment that goes into it. It also means the playing field is not level for different market

players engaging in equivalent forms of distribution.

Currently, these discussions centre on certain online platforms and aggregation services. They

are, however, likely to continue to arise for all online activities involving the commercial

reuse or retransmission of copyright-protected content.”

How the new law will affect social news sharing sites like Twitter, Facebook and Reddit is still under question, however the linking tax would adversely change the way they are allowed to operate.

Search engine news has already been affected as Google News pulled its service from Spain due to the incompatible laws and taxation.

5. PROVIDING AN EFFECTIVE AND BALANCED ENFORCEMENT SYSTEM

Respect for copyright, as for any other intellectual property right, is essential to promote

creativity and innovation and create trust in the market place. Rights that cannot be effectively

enforced have little economic value, particularly when infringements occur on a commercial

scale that free-rides on the work and investment of creators, the creative industries and legal

distribution services. This is currently very frequent and harmful to the EU economy as a

whole. An effective and balanced civil enforcement28 system is required to reduce the costs of

fighting infringements, particularly for small businesses, and keep up with their increasing

cross-border nature.

An effective response to these challenges calls for a renewed effort and for a possible review

of certain aspects of the existing legal framework. A ‘follow-the-money’ approach, which

sees the involvement of different types of intermediary service providers, seems to be a

particularly promising method that the Commission29 and Member States have started to apply

in certain areas. It can deprive those engaging in commercial infringements of the revenue streams (for

example from consumer payments and advertising) emanating from their illegal activities, and therefore act as a deterrent.”

Legal link

European Commission new Internet laws to be announced 9 December 2015

 

African Tribal Leaders Already Portioning Off Europe

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Speaking from the village of Ikutu in Zambia, Chief Mbuko Mbese III of the Chewa tribe was adamant that his people who have now moved to Croatia, plan to stay and are happy with the white women there.

“Our tribe could have moved further like the Fon tribe who are now claiming large parts of Spain, but they are happy in Croatia. The white women there have never had such big men to sate their appetites. Next week I myself will be moving there with my thirty wives, and I hope to gain thirty more white women when I arrive. We love Europe thank you EU.”

Chewa Tribe

Meanwhile in Hungary, African tribe leaders from the Dogon and Fulani tribes are agreeably portioning off the country with the Dogon taking the north and the Fulani tribe’s people taking the southern portion from Veszprém a city central to the EU country.

Chief Mkase Imbobo for the Dogon was pleased at the exchange: “We have Budapest. Here the white woman takes snake like no other. This is why we come here.”

In Germany, there have been an influx of Ethiopian tribes like the Amhara tribe, as well as many Somali clans who although are partial to warring, have held back as they enjoy the spoils of their conquest.

European Union leaders who have invited these Africans into the EU are insouciant to any prospect of African tribal warfare breaking out as they deal with the mass influx from the Middle East numbering 35 million within five years.

Trump: Immigration Okay – For Some

“As long as you ain’t a brown skinned Mexican or Arab, or African, I’m okay with immigration. Just check out my beautiful wife who I got from some Eastern European country. Hell, she didn’t even have to sign a single document to come here after I ordered her in the catalogue,” Trump said during his latest SNL monologue.

Trump sure is going places, he’s trumping the rest of the Republican contenders and making in-roads all over the place.

“I love Trump, he’s so funny and kind. What a gentleman,” Donna Neuhart, a woman who was paid to say that by a Mafiosi consigliere attending the show.

Travel News: The Death of Western Tourism a Good Thing

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Tourists are a blight in any country, they cause an ecological and sociological disaster wherever their tainted bloated bodies flop. These leeches do not want to venture out of their safe zones and are not interested in the people of the region only coming for the climate, food and booze.

The Plague of Tourism

Whole coastlines have been infested by tourists for too long, desecrated regions may once again flourish with their much needed absence.

As for the lazy hosts who have previously encouraged the visiting parasites, they can either get off their fat arses and make money through honest hard work or go bankrupt.

No Anarchists Present at Million Mask March

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Real anti-capitalists and anarchists do not own smart phones, do not own a sweat shop made globalist V mask, and do not use globalist created social media to bring attention to their whereabouts or actions, and yet this was the make-up of last night’s Million Mask March rioting in London.

Real anarchists and libertarians espouse an end or severe curtailing of governmental state control, yet the rioters were simply calling for more taxation by government to end austerity, therefore these people are not anarchists but socialists, albeit the violent type of socialist.

Champagne Anarchism

When the true anarchists and nihilists arrive, these socialists will surely know about it.

As for your sweat shop made masks, iphones and your designer jeans and your labelled jackets, you must know one thing and that is you do serve a purpose, and that is to show that your herd mentality champagne anarchism is full of hypocrisy, and you have no understanding of any anarchic principles or doctrines.

We’re Giving Away 200 Flights to Sharm el-Sheikh

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Yes, we’re giving away 200 free flights to Sharm el-Sheikh the premier Egyptian destination.

Relax on the beach, pull a deck chair up next to the pool, feel the cabin pressure drop suddenly as you are sucked out of the plane through a massive hole in the fuselage on its return journey.

All you have to do to win this exciting holiday is answer the question correctly and phone our Sharm Competition hotline immediately.

How Do You Recover From An Aircraft Stall?

  1. Slow the speed right down and pull up.
  2. Decrease the wing angle of attack moderately, smoothly applying maximum allowable power, straighten up.
  3. Put your head between your legs and start praying to Jesus.

To enter the competition for your chance to win a free holiday please call with your answer 08966 567 5758 48589 (Calls charged £32,000 per minute)

Adele New Song Hello Breaking Charts

Adele has changed somewhat since her last batch of songs but we still have the same melodic tone bumping through the track which was copied from a 1973 song by someone or other.

Adele’s publishing agent, Josh Kronstein said this is normal practice in the music biz these days.

“We go back to the 1970s when there were real artists, then get Adele to change the words slightly copying the chord sequences and melody. We have already made a large sum of money thanks to that artist who we stole the music from. But that’s the music biz now, innit. Anyway, I have a date with some prostitutes so I’m going to get in my Bentley Bentayga, which I just paid $260,000 in cash for, will you kindly fuck off or I’ll gladly run you over.”

Adele’s new song Hello.

Jeb Bush Visits Rope Museum

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“Look at this rope it’s made from er..rope, strands go across each other and not only that you can tie it up into a knot,” Jeb Bush excitedly jabbed at a piece of rope.

“This rope here is quite old rope, it looks about a hundred or so years old.”

“Synthetic rope now let me guess made in 2004.”

“Shredded rope with some burn marks on it, I wonder what happened here, this is fascinating.”

“Ah, and my favourite, a rope fashioned into a noose. Can I try it on? Feels great, I think I’ll step on this bucket, wow I can see you all down there, now for the jump!”