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Constant Begging Does Help – May Secures Last Minute Brexit Backstop Change

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Mr Juncker, much to his credit finally relented to the incessant begging of British PM Theresa May regarding that nasty backstop business.

Whether the new changes will pass muster with the Brexiteers and Attorney General before the vote in parliament is another thing, however an encouraging jump in GBP/USD certainly gave a little indication of positive movement.

Britain would be better off by about £140 billion with a Clean Brexit but the cowards in parliament and remainer dissenters are actively trying to thwart any form of No Deal, so it is with heavy heart that there will have to be a capitulation with May’s altered deal.

No doubt there are people scouring over the new documents right now, and there will have to be wider consensus on the additions to the manuscript regarding the Irish backstop.

As for the Americans, their chlorinated chicken and GM food is still on standby, but as trade deals go, there will no doubt be many discussions.

Corbyn, the floundering former soviet spy, is of course urging a full vote down of the deal in parliament because that’s what he does. Blair is consorting with Macron to thwart Brexit, and the remainers are plotting other avenues to stop Brexit altogether.

It’s all happening in parliament today.

 

Daily Squib Travel Offer Boeing 737 Max 8 – FREE Tickets

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The Daily Squib is giving away 100 free tickets to any travel destination worldwide on the Boeing 737 Max 8 aircraft.

The lucky flyers who get these tickets will be able to travel to any global destination they want, and will be able to secure first class treatment in all classes.

If you ever wanted to fly to the jungles of Borneo, or the Eritrean peninsula, or maybe Addis Ababa, your dreams can come true.

Flying the airways has never been so enjoyable, just sit back, put your feet up and let the pilots do all the work. You do not have to worry about a thing, because the pilots are well trained and can deal with unknown errors that may occur in the flightdeck.

As you are sipping your fourth G&T do not cast your mind to the yaw damper, or the rudder trim, just look out of the window and relax, the pneumatic manifold in the hydraulic reservoirs are completely safe with the EDP and an EMDP system.

There is no need to scream or pray for Jesus if you feel a few judders, that’s just normal turbulence, just think of the lavish food you will be served by the air hostess in a few minutes, this one’s not a bruiser, but a delicate flower as she bends over to hand you the tray she reveals the delights under her shirt, and winks seductively.

You are all ready for take off, and feel an emerging volcano erupting in your Bermuda shorts. It is time to rush off to the toilets, as the curry explodes prematurely from your underpants. When the queue is all too long to wait for, there is no problem, because this magnificent flying beast accommodates many toilets.

Finally, before landing be sure to check out the window, the mountainside is beautiful, as it comes closer, and closer, and closer…Eaaaargh! You did not fill in your landing card yet.

To get your free travel tickets to any world destination one way, simply answer this question “When the auto-throttle disengages and refuses to come back on whilst at altitude, do you a) start sweating whilst trying to find a solution b) start crying c) keep flying and ignore everything. Send your answer to: P.O. Box 234, DS Boeing 737 Max 8 Comp. London, W1 6DA, United Kingdom

Trading Opportunities – Forex – for the Month of March

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In the financial markets, with a special mention of the forex market, February was a lukewarm month. This can be largely attributed to the numbers adopting the same graph as was evident during the start of the year. This continued similarity in curves in fact, dimmed the volatility in the US market, the continued increase in the gold and silver and the range-bound fluctuation in US dollar.

Definitely, the end of 2018 witnessed a steep decline for the US stock market around last Christmas, an impressive rebound is evident in the market this year. The S&P 500 index, in fact, is showing a revival and growth by more than 20% since the lowest point in December in 2018. The review and comparison of historical figures shows that these numbers match the average stock market returns of about three years.

Though, as per the latest figures, a resistance area is evident for the index in the chart – at around 2,800. And this extended lull, makes it crucial to invade and emerge on the other side before the market experiences higher prices. As of now, the trade scenario for S&P 500 seems challenging and also, the future direction is apparently neither visible nor indicated.

Gold is the new trade

It is anticipated that most slow-moving asset or also famously referred as the most boring item – Gold, may rather defy the set notions. An impressive 14% return has been logged in by gold, which is a good rebound, considering the mid-August bottom hit, last year.

Definitely, gold has newer avenues to conquer. Until the 1,350 to 1,360 area, gold does not seem to show any resistance. Also, another 2% growth is expected in the forthcoming days. In case, gold is able to break the 1,360 levels, it is expected that the market is in significant gains, however, until gold is able to reach higher prices, the market does not anticipate any more significant resistance.

Dollar in trouble

Greenback, off late, is exhibiting some weakness and the US dollar numbers are slowing down with the last month showing relatively better picture. This weakness though cannot be considered permanent as the coming month shows great prospects in the graph having the probability to grow in any direction.

Currently, the dollar is clearly caught in a trading range – and though it cannot be assumed as to how dollar will behave in the coming days – this firm support at 95- level is quite daunting. Over time, as per the trade analysts the dollar can possibly move lower than expected, in case the dollar shows a movement below this level. And in the best case scenario, a higher climb is expected from the dollar, in case, it is able to free itself from the 97.50 area and move above.

European stock blue chip

The blue-chip stock and indices have been consistently registering strong growth. Particularly, the DAX and CAC have shown a climb between the near about of 1.0%, as well as the FTSE has shown a growth of 1.38%. The German Services PMI, on the release front showed an improvement to 53.1, though a steady state was seen in Eurozone Services PMI at 51.2 points. Though, at the worst fall since December, Eurozone retail sales had plunged 1.6% in February. Also, the State of Union address of President Trump before Congress and Germany releases factory orders have impacted the trading scene. The blue-chip indices particularly have been strengthened by the bank shares. This trend was seen in February end with BNP Paribas and Credite, in France gaining over 2.0%. Also, with a 2.0% gain by Agricole and 1.9% gain at Standard Chartered, the European banks have shown a good climb. And going forward are expected to continue to gain ground the coming quarter.

How Brexit Could Affect Gambling

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With the 29th of March fast approaching, UK politics are becoming increasingly strained, parties are divided and splitting, and as news bulletins show little optimism the once thought as almost impossible, the threat of a ‘No Deal’ Brexit could actually turn out to be the UK’s only option. Uncertain times have led to British Banks making provisions for an economy that could be, at the best, uncertain.

Online gambling makes up a large part of the British economy and so the gambling industry is looking towards March 29th especially with regard to tax revenues generated from the industry. Those recommended pay by phone casino websites and other online casino sites now account for 40% of the whole gambling market within the United Kingdom so it is no surprise that Brexit could greatly affect this sector the most.

Statistics show us that almost half of the population engages in some type of gambling which generates millions upon millions each year, worth over £15 billion today. Online gambling has made a massive difference with some companies becoming highly successful as well as many smaller businesses able to make a profit.

Both Gibraltar and the Isle of Man have both enjoyed being members of the EU and Gibraltar in particular has enjoyed having more than 30 operators making their base in the tax haven with access to the single market of the European Community. The protectorate of the UK has enjoyed a flourishing economy which has a thriving ex-pat community.

Although almost 100% of Gibraltarians voted to stay in the EU, they also voted to stay under British rule opposed to Spain. Almost three quarters of those that work in the gambling sector in Gibraltar commute from Spain on a daily basis, so having this free movement stopped would mean that job losses could not really be avoided.

Spain is almost certainly going to tighten up their border controls, the animosity between Spain and the United Kingdom regarding Gibraltar is well documented and the threat of Brexit has already seen companies choose not to base themselves in Gibraltar in favour of other countries such as Malta, as the threat of a ‘No Deal’ Brexit looms ever closer.

Probably the biggest question that is being asked today is whether companies will want to operate in the UK following Brexit. The UK is already feeling the effects of uncertainty as manufacturers are changing their minds about building factories or are pulling out of the UK in favour of other countries.

This is understandable as tariffs on profits are likely to increase, something that no industry desires. The disappearance of those gambling operators who are currently based in the United Kingdom might take time as they moved to the EU, but job losses would certainly occur within the UK, and the bigger gambling companies are already looking to the EU to make their base.

Ocasio Cortez to Join Sandinista Group During Congress Recess

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Guerilla warfare is something Alexandria Ocasio Cortez has grown up with her whole life.

“I, like many socialist activists grew up with the literature of Saul Alinsky, Karl Marx and Trotsky, so during recess I want to go to Nicaragua to join the Sandinista National Liberation Front. They will teach me how to hunt down anti-soviet elements, preach Marxism to peasants and maybe shoot a few capitalist scum bags,” Cortez told a group of Congressional members on Friday.

Sandinista rebel commander, Vittorio Cortez Guevara, was looking forward to teaching his new student a few rebel techniques in revolutionary guerilla warfare.

“We want her to bring back to America what we teach her, and she says she wants to use her newly learned methods to create a Green New Deal Revolution in the USA, where all borders will be opened, where all millionaires and billionaires will be hanged, and where all cows will have plugs placed in their butt holes so that they do not fart anymore and create greenhouse gases. She also like chilli, we have here in the jungle so much chilli, this is all we eat. Chilli and beans, makes us fart like anything though, but not like cows.”

Ocasio Cortez will join a nine-member National Directorate, composed of three comandantes from each Sandinista faction in the jungle at a secret location. The Sandinistas need funds to buy weapons, so Cortez will also learn about coca production to make cocaine, which is funnelled through the Bahamas and then onto Miami. The money made is then used to purchase AK-47s and other military gear.

Democrat candidate for 2020, Bernie Sanders, was jealous about Cortez’s little trip.

“I love Ocasio-Cortez because she has so much energy and the collectivist Marxist ideology runs through her veins like liquid nitrogen. I am too old now, but forty years ago, I would have gone into the jungle with her at the drop of a Che Guevara beret to fight the counterrevolutionary forces. Her big bug eyes, they’re always moving left, right and sideways, this means she is always thinking, always on the go. We need revolution in America and she is the one to do it.”

A Lighthearted Take on the 2019 Cheltenham Festival

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The world of horse racing reaches fever pitch during the Cheltenham Festival – four days of terrific jumps action which this year is on from March 12 to 15 in the Cotswolds. This is our light hearted take on what to look out for at the 2019 meeting.

Can mares be Champion?

In the aftermath of International Women’s Day, the big race on the Tuesday at Cheltenham is the Champion Hurdle and some mares are well-fancied to win it.

Never mind gender equality, the ladies get a 7lb sex allowance from the geldings – and that puts dual winner Buveur D’Air at a distinct disadvantage as he seeks the hat-trick. How the other half live, eh?

Apple’s Jade is one of two Irish raiders benefitting from these Champion Hurdle race terms. She’s been awesome in the Emerald Isle this year, so can either she or unbeaten hurdler Laurina emulate the likes of Annie Power and Dawn Run? It’s a competitive Champion Hurdle puzzle all right.

Altior unbeatable?

"Altior put his unbeaten record on the line" (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Carine06
“Altior put his unbeaten record on the line” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Carine06

Horses in the two-mile chase division are running scared from Altior. Isn’t that what they do when jumping fences at a breakneck gallop anyway?

Nicky Henderson’s best chance of a winner comes on Ladies’ Day, the Wednesday of Cheltenham, and his unbeaten nine-year-old is on course to defend his Queen Mother Champion Chase crown. Altior is the stuff that Festival free bets and offers are made of.

You’ll hear the phrase banker. No, you’ve not misheard. Altior looks exactly that and is prime material for a Ladies’ Day double with fellow three-time Cheltenham Festival winner Tiger Roll in the Cross Country Chase.

Paisley Park more than Prince’s home

Once upon a time, there was a blind man called Andrew Gemmell who owned a horse called Paisley Park. No jokes there. By far the most heartwarming story of this year’s Festival would be if his rapidly improving staying hurdler could win one of the big races on day three of the meeting.

The Stayers’ Hurdle is among many Cheltenham contests that have cut-up as potential hopefuls fall by the wayside. So, this is what it sounds like when doves cry. Paisley Park takes on equally popular veteran Faugheen – four years his senior – over three miles on “St Patrick’s Thursday”.

"Mine's a pint please" (CC BY 2.0) by IntangibleArts
“Mine’s a pint please” (CC BY 2.0) by IntangibleArts

Look, nobody mention to Cheltenham staff that Paddy’s day isn’t until the 17th (the Sunday after), OK? They’re expecting to sell lots of Guinness – and we mean lots.

Will Mullins end Gold Cup hoodoo?

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need. Willie Mullins may be one of the best jumps trainers in horse racing, but the Irishman has never lifted the Cheltenham Gold Cup.

He launches a four-pronged attack this year at ending his hoodoo in the blue riband event of steeplechasing. Kemboy, Invitation Only, Bellshill and Al Boum Photo are the quartet from Closutton going to the race. Will the luck of the Irish desert him again?

Mullins might just get that monkey off his back, you know. Fellow Irish raider and leading Gold Cup fancy Presenting Percy hasn’t jumped a fence in anger for 12 months, although he has won over hurdles and the nice people at Galway reconfigured their chase course so he could do a bit of schooling.

Without Air Force Brutal ISIS Lost the War Years Ago

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One has to question the level of intelligence of the ISIS hierarchy, when they conquered vast swathes of territory, to neglect the need for an air force to keep that territory in place.

In modern military warfare, it is impossible to survive without air superiority, and the idiots who bumbled their foot soldiers across Iraq and Syria obviously thought nothing of even training one pilot, or even sequestering the use of a single helicopter.

The death of ISIS country in Syria and Iraq is a testament to the blind idiocy of some religious zealots who think they will just get by because they are doing ‘god’s’ work. Instead, ISIS troops and territory have been decimated by air strikes, and drone strikes conducted from thousands of miles away in Arizona, and places like that. Satellite feeds can watch in real time any sort of movement of ISIS troops, and drones can carry out precision strikes from out of nowhere. Over the past few years, shooting ISIS militants has been like shooting fish in a barrel, because they have no air force of their own.

Coupled with the clever usage of ground troops, and air support, ISIS is now completely decimated within Syria and Iraq, and their brutal legacy is now a lingering traumatic memory, especially with the Yazidis and other brutalized people of the region.

Of course, there are ISIS elements still dotted around various parts of the Middle East, Africa and South-East Asia, as well as lone-wolf operators within Western countries along with cells, however the loss of their conquered Syrian/Iraqi territory will still be a great disaster, because it is a sign that they achieved very little during their tenure, and that they are a hugely ineffective militarily in the long run.

The lesson must be learned, get a bloody air force running before you even think about conquering any area, because without air support your troops will be sitting ducks to the enemy. Maybe, one day the ISIS overlords and their brutal regime may learn this rule of modern combat but until that day comes, they will never hold a territory long enough.

Getting an air force does not come cheap either, not only do you have to have highly trained support personnel and pilots, but hardware has to be constantly maintained, and upgraded. Radar, satellite, and weapons development are additional necessities. F22 Raptor’s don’t come cheap, at approximately $150 million a piece, the procurement cost for the total program was $64 billion in development alone.

There’s always the acquisition of older tech, like the F16 which can be picked up for a measly $18 million a piece, but the other point in hand is that these aircraft are only sold to nation states, and not terror groups, so that puts ISIS shit out of luck on that one. They could of course have gone east and procured some old Soviet aircraft, or Chinese, but that would also mean jumping through a lot of hoops.

Anyway, it does not bear thinking about, Jihadis in jets, how about Jihadis in submarines? Now that would be quite a sight, and a very scary destructive sight at that too.

‘Grifters’ Remake Film Could be Modeled on Meghan Markle Says Director

Luciano Espinoza, world renowned director, who recently worked on the remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, is a fan of con men and women, and the subtle art of the grifter.

“I am fascinated by these characters who never work a day in their lives, but instead gain many riches from conning other people out of their money. To see the rise of Meghan Markle from a d-list nobody character to the highest level of royalty is to me a work of genius. She has tied the hands of Prince Harry behind his back, blinded him completely and controls the boy like a clockwork toy. Pure genius!”

Master manipulator

According to palace insiders, Markle now writes Prince Harry’s speeches, has banned him from alcohol, meat, tea and coffee, and chooses his clothes. She dictates to him what he should say and where to go, and now uses royal funds to appropriate anything she wants.

The Grifters

The 1990 film ‘The Grifters’ is a small glimpse into the specialist art of conning people, and is a cult movie starring John Cusack, Anjelica Huston and Annette Benning.

The plot of the loosely modeled remake is being kept under wraps, however it will feature a narcissistic manipulative American actress who cons her way into high circles, fooling millions of people, and totally ignoring friends and family who she used previously to get where she is.

“Con men and women are intricate creatures, they have multiple facets to their character, and plan meticulously each step of the con. The only one they love is themselves and they never pity the chumps they use to get what they want. This is why the sociopathic calculating character of Meghan is so endearing to the writer, she is ruthless in her ability to cut off dead wood, even her own father. She is also extremely manipulative and uses her PR team to concoct stories that will bring praise from the public her way. Her trickery is subtle, but divisive, as she works efficiently to seal her place in royal circles, ” the director added.

The film is still in early stages of casting but there is serious excitement brewing up for the project.

Swift – The Master of Satire

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It’s easy to think of satire as a contemporary phenomenon, but it has its roots in the 4th century BC when Aristophanes wrote plays attacking the Athenian demagogue Cleon and the political system of the time. You only have to read his play ‘The Wasps’ and its satirical depiction of the law courts of the time to see how it can be applied to countries where people sue for real – or imagined – problems.

One of the greatest satirists in the English language is the Anglo-Irish man of letters, Jonathan Swift (1667-1745). It is therefore a shame that his ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ is treated as a children’s tale. In fact, many editions and film adaptations only consider the first part of his adventures set in Lilliput.

Nowadays, it is difficult to believe that the book was so potentially dangerous for the author that he published it anonymously. Because of its politically-explosive anti-Whig content, he even had the story rewritten in someone else’s handwriting so that the original manuscript couldn’t be used in evidence against him if there were a court case.

‘Gulliver’s Travels’ works as a satire on many different levels. Superficially, it is a satire of the travelogue books which were so popular in the 18th century. A typical example is Daniel Defoe’s ‘Robinson Crusoe’ which had been published only 7 years before. However, rather than continuing Defoe’s idea of the noble savage (Man Friday), Swift was more condemnatory of mankind as a whole showing them as sly and vicious sub-humans ,as epitomised by the Yahoos in the 4th part of the book.

Swift also attacked the European governments of the time. In Lilliput, there is a long-standing war between the neighbouring country which started over which end of a boiled egg should be cracked. Many of his contemporaries saw this as a satirical reference to the historical enmity between England and France and the flimsy pretexts for war employed by both governments.

Britain’s domestic policy didn’t escape unscathed from the fury of Swift’s pen either. The courtiers and powerful men of Lilliput achieve their high office by ridiculous competitions such as who can jump the highest rather than as a result of their abilities.

This was a direct reference to the way political favours were bestowed in 18th century Britain. A system of political patronage often from private banking meant that applicants could bribe their way into lucrative positions of power which they could then milk for all it was worth.

He described the way that peers were selected for the House of Lords as ‘blurred and blotted by corruptions’. It was more than 200 years later that efforts were made to make the composition of the House more democratic rather than being a pay-off for services rendered by contributors to the main political parties while ordinary people need to apply to a new payday loans lender to get by. Click here for more information.

‘Gulliver’s Travels’ illustrates that the best satire doesn’t have to be topical because certain themes are timeless.

Puritanical UK Ban On Porn Easily Bypassed By VPN

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The UK government’s ineffectual ban on online porn will be easily bypassed by using a VPN or any proxy server.

From April (when the new system is widely expected to launch), attempting to reach Pornhub or Youporn from a UK device will bring up a non-pornographic ‘landing page’ instead, says James Clark, AgeID spokesperson.

Most ISP’s make parental control software available as part of the contract already, so it is easy for parents to control the content, there is no need for this nanny state directive, which is probably a way of cashing in on free content available on the internet.

By simply using a virtual private network (VPN) the blocked sites are perfectly viewable.

Some browsers like the Opera browser even have VPN built in, so there is no need to even pay for a VPN service.

Of course, we must have a responsibility as a society to restrict adult material for children, but this job should be the responsibility of parents and not the nanny state. All the government is doing here is punishing every strata of society with a very simplistic ban, which will never work anyway.

Furthermore, the government wants citizens to sign up to a database to watch what they want. Who is to say if this database is safe? We have seen countless times that no database is safe, and pretty much everything can be hacked and distributed online.

The House of Commons and Palace of Westminster itself has been recorded making requests to watch pornography over 250,000 times in one year.