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Radio DJ Leaves the BBC

A former radio DJ has left the BBC it seems.

According to witnesses, the little fellow left the BBC by walking out the front door helped by his doting parents who he had just informed of his sacking.

“My parents were still vewwy vewwy pwoud of me even though I have now been sacked by auntie,” the DJ quipped before jumping into a tree and climbing up some branches.

Why was the DJ sacked, why did he have to leave the BBC and not a hospital?

“Something to do with a monkey. Er…you cannot post pictures of monkeys anymore. That’s it!” someone at the BBC revealed.

It’s perfectly okay though, because the DJ has a nice little £2million pad in Blackheath to rest his laurels while he recuperates. Who says champagne socialism does not pay?

“Thank God He’s White!” Windsors Breathe a Sigh of Relief

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One could almost hear the collective sigh of relief from the Windsors as it was revealed after long last that Prince Harry and Meghan’s baby Archie was pale in complexion.

Royal commentator Peregrine Fortington-Smythe, explained the relief amongst the Windsors and the courtiers that Baby Sussex Archie was presented to the world.

“The sex of the baby did not matter, it was mainly of the colouring which was the issue. There are genetic instances where the negroid genes from past generations show prominence, however the prince has been very lucky that this did not happen. It would have been totally inconceivable for the Windsors to have something like that in their ranks, so they are very lucky to be out of those intrepid woods. God only knows how Prince Philip would have reacted?”

Although baby Archie had a little hat on during the presentation at Windsor castle, this could be a strategic addition, because the baby may have fuzzy hair, or even worse could take after his dad and be ginger.

One of the first things Prince Charles commented on when Harry was born was the colour of his hair.

Well wishers from all over the world have been gawping and cooing at the new arrival, and this attention will certainly rile the other contingent of the Windsors, the William family, who seem positively mediocre compared to this exotic new offering.

“William and Kate are now marginalised characters, their children are boring compared to what is to come from the Harry household. The media it seems only wants Harry and Meghan, and the additional American royal factor adds a whole new population to the celebrity proceedings. It is to this effect that Meghan and Harry have now taken the crown of a new Hollywoodized celebrity Windsor wing, and have catapulted the baby to super celebrity status in one fell swoop,” another royal commentator revealed.

Prince Harry Reveals New Baby’s Clothes Ready and Waiting

Yo yo gots 2 b hip y’all. All dat sheboinkin made a babee n sheeit! Nows da peeps at da royale fam theys bin shopliftin sum clothes! Dats right bruv, Prince Harry is showin’ orf sum rags fo da noo babee! Pimpin’ dat shiet muffuggas!

Dap plan is get wiv da cartel innit b4 da Feds cum!

Afta da babee woz born n sheit we gots 2 git da bling on, sum pimpin azz shiet!

Yu knows like da Kardashians n shiet mebbe a lil Fiddy here n dere ass jiggaz.

Da babee already suckin on da Meghan mommas titties fo shore! Pimpin da areola juss like Jersey Shore n dat or woz dat Geordie Shore we forgots! But who fukkkin cares fam! Bruv William gonna be jelluss now! Burberry n all, innit!

Anywayz un royale foolz ! Prince Harry be showin off da babee n his pimpin azz rags!

Check it out! East side! Westwoooood!

Gender Fluid Ship Sinks Off the Isle of Man Coast

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Twenty-one people are missing after a gender fluid ship sank off the shore of the Isle of Man, officials said Thursday.

Lt. Zee Zezazzle of the Isle of Man Coast Guard said Tuesday that four passengers have been rescued. The small gender neutral fluid craft named “They There” left Portsmouth a few hours earlier and overturned in rough seas.

“We were not allowed to call the ship ‘she’ or ‘her’ so there initially was confusion as to what the ship was and if it needed to be rescued,” a confused Lieutenant Zezazzle revealed.

Ships have been widely referred to as feminine since at least 1375. The origins of the seafaring tradition historians believe came from sailors linking ships to femininity to motherhood and protection.

In January 2018, authorities called off a search for more than two gender fluid ships that crashed onto rocks on the nearby Old Man’s Balls pass, which has caught many ships. Officials said only two people survived that crash, both were transgender sailor boys.

There are now calls for the Isle of Man to be renamed the Isle of They or It.

Online Betting is Going From Strength to Strength

There’s something really exciting about online betting these days, and that is the proliferation of tech that is being rolled out to make the betting experience for the user much more pleasurable and easy.

If you want to play online there are now so many avenues to pursue, the choice is almost mind boggling.

It’s not like the old days when if you wanted to play the slots for example you had the choice of some sleazy bar where you could get glassed just for looking in the wrong fucking direction, or the local kebab shop where the slot machine was covered in an inch of grease, and regularly flanked by the local chav thugs and their Burberries.

Now a days you can have a bet on the match, or put down a number on the roulette pretty much anywhere. Own a smartphone? Who doesn’t these days, and that’s the real clincher of the situation, you could be on the bog pushing out a loaf and win £300 on the roulette, or you could be in your jammies watching the telly bored out of your mind. Put down a bet, why not?

The choice of slot games online truly boggles the mind, and not only that it’s the payouts that will truly line your pockets depending on what you put in to each game. You can certainly can spend days trying one game after another until you find that particular game that really fits your state of mind.

One thing you need to look out for is putting your winnings into a separate wallet, and being rather rigid with the percentage of your money you use in each session. Don’t bet the whole bank on any game, unless you want to lose everything in one go. Discipline is the key to success, and learn to give it a rest once in awhile, give the betting gods a rest to recuperate.

Virtual reality gambling, that’s what’s really scary. Imagine the possibilities of such technological progress, here you are in your Scunthorpe council flat, it’s freezing in the middle of winter, and through your VR headset all you can see is palm trees, beautiful people, Vegas lights flashing and a hot croupier bending over the table displaying her delights for everyone to see.

Things are certainly changing for the better technologically, and that can only be a good thing for online betting and the punter. Better clean up whilst it’s still cool.*

An Introduction to Doing Business in the Middle East

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The Middle East is an increasingly important global region in business terms. Although primarily recognised in terms of its oil resources, the area is also producing major companies in many other sectors, notably banking and finance. With a growing middle class, it is also seen as an emerging market for a wide range of consumer goods and services.

International firms are drawn to the Middle East for the favourable tax structures in many nations, although of course different countries have different business strengths and things to be aware of. Generally, Arabic is the first language, but English is widely used for business purposes.

The UAE

The United Arab Emirates (UAE) is a federation of seven separate emirates: Abu Dhabi, Ajman, Dubai, Fujairah, Ras Al Khaimah, Sharjah and Umm Al Quwain. Of these, Dubai is best known as an international business hub, as well as a centre for finance, high-end real estate and luxury leisure opportunities. Visitors and investors should however be aware of the legal system that draws on both civil code and sharia law. In business matters, the latter is most relevant in terms of Islamic banking arrangements and inheritance laws.

Bahrain

Centrally positioned for access to the full scope of Middle Eastern markets, oil-rich Bahrain is particularly attractive to businesses, due to its low infrastructure costs and relatively cheap commercial rents, as well as a multicultural middle class that provides a growing market for consumer goods. Fahad Al Rajaan is considered one of the most important business leaders in the Middle East for his role as former chair of the Ahli United Bank, Bahrain’s biggest lender and a major international investment bank. He has also served as the chair of the Wafra investment Advisory Group in New York.

Egypt

Egypt has the largest population in the Middle East and is currently in a process of economic recovery, and the government is actively encouraging foreign investment as well as tourism and infrastructure projects. The country is particularly open to telecommunications, energy, real estate, construction and transportation proposals. It should be noted however that the tax and legal framework is particularly complex, something that has historically dissuaded investors.

Kuwait and Lebanon

Kuwait’s economy is largely based on oil and petroleum, but the country is actively encouraging more diverse business interests. To this end, the government has introduced tax incentives for foreign businesses and has relaxed many legal requirements.

Lebanon has a service-oriented economy and is noted for its unrestricted free market, largely exempt from state intervention. Foreign investors can move capital and goods in and out easily, and banking is one of the republic’s main growth areas.

Qatar

This oil and gas-rich nation has an extremely liberal tax regime and a legal framework intended to attract foreign investors and businesses in a wide range of sectors. As with many Middle Eastern countries, there is recognition of the need to diversify beyond the oil and gas industries, although these still account for approximately 50% of GDP. A legal presence, either permanent or temporary, must be registered in Qatar for foreign investment to proceed.

Oban

The Sultanate of Oban is a major trading centre as well as having substantial oil resources. Tax regulations and company law are continually being updated in order to encourage more diverse foreign investment. Expatriate employees comprise 46% of the population and Oban is something of a regional and worldwide logistics hub.

Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia is the biggest producer and exporter of oil in the world, and one of the major world economies that make up the G20 group. With a large and wealthy population, it is also a key consumer market. Saudi Arabia is a member of the World Trade Organisation and outside investment and diverse business interests are encouraged, primarily through the Saudi Arabian General Investment Authority (SAGIA). This is where licenses and visas can be obtained, but SAGIA also offers tax and ownership incentives and unrestricted movement of capital under its auspices.

Investors should be aware that Saudi Arabia is an absolute monarchy with a legal system based on sharia law, and no civil constitution.

It can be seen that the Middle East is an extremely attractive region in which to do business. Thorough research into legal and cultural frameworks is necessary, but overall, the area is very welcoming to investors and is actively seeking to diversify beyond its dependency on oil, gas and petroleum. In particular, the region may soon come to dominate the financial sector, while real estate and consumer opportunities are also high.

Iran and Gaza Escalation Sign of What is to Come

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The biggest prize of all for the USA has always been Iran, it is the jewel in the crown of conquest, and to take Iran would also see a serious shift in the invisible lines of global hegemony for America, unseating Russia and China.

As the USS Abraham Lincoln and a bomber task force are being deployed close to the Persian peninsula, the high command are of course cautious with their declaration that they are not seeking war with Iran. Not yet, that is.

After firing over 400 rockets into Israel from Gaza, the climate in that region is tense as well, and could kick off again at any moment.

The tinder could light at any moment within these regions, and escalate very quickly, especially if Russia and China join in.

Iran, is staunchly aligned with Russia and China, and any shift in territory will cause an imbalance in the global territorial game.

Putin, could then move further into Ukraine, taking the whole country, as this action would be away from the Middle Eastern war theatre, it would catch the Americans off guard. The Russian leader also has his eye on other key former Soviet territories and beyond.

The poor state of the Venezuelan dictator Maduro is also a U.S. issue, as U.S. agencies are already in country trying to topple the socialist regime. This is another regime backed by Russia, and if the Americans were to commit their forces to actively enter the country, there is no doubt there would be a Russian backlash.

Further East, the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un has been playing with his toys, and sucking up to the Russian leader. This is a firm sign that Kim Jong-un was playing with Trump all along, and has never even thought about capitulating to the Americans by disarming.

Put all this shit into a cauldron; stir firmly, add in some ISIS flavouring, a desperate U.S president wanting to do something before the 2020 elections, and you have one hell of a soup.

Hundred Quid in Free Bets Are You Pulling My Leg?

What’s your poison when it comes to bets? Casino games, you know, Blackjack, Baccarat, and a bit of roulette to add to the palette. Maybe some sports betting on Betfair, your favourite team has an upcoming game and you are sure of the outcome, and are rooting for that certain edge that will make your day.

In all betting circumstances, we seek that certain feeling, you’ve analysed all the stats, made sure of the different variables, and put forth the risk.

To get ahead in life, as well as the casino, there is always an element of risk we take, but without this risk we would not achieve anything. You would stay at home all day in your safe space sucking on your thumb with your favourite blanket covering you and never achieve anything.

Certainly, it’s that first psychological barrier we must transcend, that push forward to make something out of nothing, to grow your money, and to not only life life, but to be successful.

Everyone wants to be the next big thing, the driver of a Ferrari down the streets of Monaco, or rolling up in your yacht in Cannes, but everyone of the people who do that had to take risks to get where they were.

The majority of people in this world will never leave their home town let alone venture into a casino online or otherwise. We’re not all fictional James Bond characters that seem to win every hand and roll of the dice in a glitzy casino in the South of France. Don’t let fiction cloud the mind, you must truly transcend fiction, and embrace reality, however harsh it may be. This is the true trick to success, do not delude yourself with grandiose thoughts too much, just concentrate solely on the action, on the statistics, on the probability and you will limit your risk.

There are alway losses, but that’s part of the game, and the seasoned risk taker knows fully they will lose sometimes. Learn from loss, and take those lessons learned into the next game, however do not repeat your mistakes, that’s just plain stupid.

The bets, in the end are on you, and this comes down to the well known cliche, know thy self first, know your weaknesses and strengths, to your greatest fears, before you even attempt to play the ultimate game of risk with your hard earned cash.*

Opening a New Betting Account Has Never Been Easier

The ease of the internet is truly astounding, especially when it comes to online gambling. The industry has become so widespread that you can bet on pretty much anything these days. Not only that, if one wants to open a new account with Ladbrokes, it’s as easy as imputing a few pieces of data and you’re good to go.

These days it’s not just opening an account for a betting site that counts, but the promo deals one can get are another incentive. We’re talking 100% bonuses or welcome bonuses that will surely add to the sheer pleasure of betting on whatever game you choose.

It’s not just on the desktop PC but mobile as well, so be sure to download the necessary app to your smartphone. Imagine being able to bet or play your favourite games whilst doing pretty much any mundane activity, whether it is having dinner with your elderly parents, or riding a train to work. The choice is yours of course, and that’s the beauty of the whole system.

There are age restrictions that must be adhered to; only those who are over eighteen years of age are allowed to open an account, and there are some restricted territories which you must be aware of when it comes to gambling online. Furthermore, it is imperative that you give only accurate information about yourself because if you give false info, this could impact on your payouts.

Once into the site, you will be overwhelmed by the amount of choices you have with games, and although predominantly for sport betting, there’s plenty of different games to get stuck into.

If at anytime you have a question or problem, never hesitate to contact support, as the customer service is exemplary.

As for funding your account, you can always add to your welcome bonus by using pretty much every payment method that exists on the internet today. *

First They Called Brexit “No Deal” Then They Cancelled “No Deal”

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In 2016, the month of June, 23, many across the UK voted to leave the EU and all of its institutions. This meant leaving the Customs Union, leaving the Single Market, leaving the European Courts of Justice, leaving the Common Agricultural Policy, leaving the Common Fisheries Policy and all the other EU regulatory agencies surrounding British law like an octopus that never wants to let go.

Leaving all those EU agencies is what Brexit is, and has always been. Anything other than that is not a Brexit.

The powers that be, then renamed Brexit as ‘No Deal’. This was the first step in killing off Brexit, because their version of Brexit is one that involves staying in the EU, which is NOT Brexit in any way or fashion.

By naming Brexit as ‘No Deal’ the clever people who control everything have made Brexit into a negative purely in linguistic terms, and have made ‘No Deal’ seem like the worst possible scenario to encounter, when in fact it was what 17.4 million people voted for in the EU Referendum.

Once the controlling faction had re-named Brexit as ‘No Deal’ they then went and cancelled it in parliament with a series of Bills passed by Remainer MPs, and circumnavigated democracy in one fell swoop, bypassing the will of the people by a small coterie of anti-democrat MPs.

We have always called their ‘No Deal’ a ‘Real Brexit’ or ‘Clean Brexit’ and have not capitulated to their underhand malevolent tactics.

Now that Theresa May has effectively abandoned her own party to join with Labour in engineering a complete EU Remainer deal that is not a Brexit, they have the gall to call it a Brexit, but it is not in any way a Brexit. Staying in a Customs Union and being subject to EU regulations and law is not a Brexit but is treachery on behalf of the PM.

Brexit means leaving all EU institutions, and anything other than that is NOT a Brexit. How about thinking about that Michael Gove you treasonous Scottish snake?