17.7 C
London
Thursday, March 19, 2026
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentMcDonalds Now Recruiting Latest X Factor Winners

McDonalds Now Recruiting Latest X Factor Winners

LONDON - England - The McDonalds chain is gaining the majority of their employees from X Factor shows it has been revealed.

ai —Ensure our latest news headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as a Preferred Source in your Google search settings—

Fast food restaurant McDonalds is now actively recruiting the latest X Factor winners to join the previous lot who won previous X Factor competitions.

Manager of the Walthamstow McDonalds branch, Ludmilla Briancatsou revealed how the recruitment drive works.

“They win first prize on the show, sell about twenty iTunes downloads then get dumped by Simon Cowell’s awful exploitative record company and that’s after the first week of winning X Factor, we then recruit them in the second week. Our burger chef is some guy who won three weeks ago and doing the chips is a girl who won X Factor six years ago. She’s still doing the fries to an exemplary standard and may become managerial material in another twenty years if she’s lucky. As for cleaning the toilets, we’ve got JLS in there right now. It’s the music biz innit!”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.  
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  •  
    ai
    - Advertisment - proton vpn

    NEWS ON THE HOUR

    ai

    MORE NEWS

    THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

    The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

    KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH