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Greta Thunberg to Star in Eco Pizza Porn Video to Taunt ‘Toxic’ Influencer

STOCKHOLM - Sweden - Eco darling Greta Thunberg is to star in an eco porn video to promote the ecological disaster that threatens the globe.

It doesn’t get more insidious than this. Darling of the eco hysteria business Greta Thunberg announced on Friday through her management company that she will be starring in an eco pizza porn video. Why would this sweet little girl be doing such a thing?

Big Dick Energy

“I want to humiliate this toxic influencer and his toxic ways. He has small dick energy, and I only like my Isterband at 10 inches. Anything below that is small for me. Throw in a couple of vegan pizzas I can roll around in, and we have some real dirty Swedish eco porn.”

The strictly naughty videos will have images of icebergs melting and polar bears stranded on rocks to compound the effect of helplessness that is Thunberg’s trademark.

How Bare You!

The people that control Thunberg want to promote a dirtier side to the angelic character that everyone knows and loves.

“She is not promoting breeding with this video, on the contrary, she will be promoting self-love and pizza to save the planet. Greta also wants to put two fingers up to that toxic idiot who got caught by the police from a pizza box. We never mention his name here in the Eco HQ, just call him a ‘liten skit’,” Göta Söderström, spokeswoman for Thunberg revealed on Friday.

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