URGENT: Max Clifford Looking For PR Person

LONDON - England - Max Clifford is desperately looking for a PR person to get him out of a bit of a sticky situation.

“I’m arguably the best ever PR person in the media but I’m in a bit of bother at the moment, you know with all these alleged child sexual offences allegations against me. I need some PR to get me out of this, if anyone knows a better PR man than me please send a letter to HM Prisons Wandsworth. Any PR people that represented Gary Glitter or Jimmy Savile need not apply though, oops that was me, ouchy,” Mr Clifford said from his prison cell today.

Max Clifford, who always said he loved being the centre of the media, is now actually the news himself.

“I guess Max won’t be attending that charity dinner he set up on Monday. What is it with all these monsters hiding behind charity work? Makes you think dunnit?” a disappointed diner revealed today.