17.7 C
Tuesday, April 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentWhitney Houston's Voice Used to Scare Away Birds at Airports

Whitney Houston’s Voice Used to Scare Away Birds at Airports

BIRMINGHAM - England - With a voice that can crack windows, ex-crack addict diva, Whitney Houston's voice will be used to deter birds from runways at airports in Britain, airport authorities announced today.

“We tested her voice out on the speakers, and her voice not only scares away birds but some of them actually died as well. Yeah, no kidding, they fell out of the sky stone dead. Maybe the military should think about using Whitney’s voice in Iraq too,” Jerry Trimble, an air traffic controller at Birmingham airport’s terminal 4 told the BBC.

For a long time, airports have been using sirens piped through speakers to scare away birds in case they fly into planes engines and cause a crash.

“At least her voice is now being used for something useful instead of battering peoples eardrums in concerts, we can scare away birds and avoid fatal plane crashes,” Mr Trimble said.

In addition to UK airports using the pop diva’s voice to scare away birds from runways, there is widespread interest from airport authorities around the world.

Whitney’s record company, Crackpipe Records, is currently negotiating a royalty rate so that Whitney can buy more crack with the proceeds.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »