The music biz was stagnating for a while after the advent of digital audio where anyone could download music for free without paying for it — that is until Lady KaKa came onto the scene.
“People actually want to pay for KaKa’s music! Forget about downloading it for free, they want to buy this toilet’s music. Hell, they want to even buy the fuckin’ album. I nearly shit my pants when I saw that. We got her singing template songs through an Antares, with some vocoder or something, I dunno, we got her in a room with some engineers. She can’t actually sing or write music, she can’t play an instrument, she just dresses up with a toilet seat around her head or some such crap so all the little girls and gays love her. Who fuckin’ cares, I drive a Lamborghini Countach Quattrovalvole and own three mansions in Malibu because of this turd,” Milton Earl III Esq. of Backsplash Records told MTV.
Indeed, the Music Industry has never had it so good. There is finally some cash flowing into its empty coffers.
“The biz is now for people like KaKa, so we don’t have to have anyone who can play, sing or compose music. You may think nothing has changed much but believe me when I say, we used to have a time once when real bands played actual music,” Mr Earl added.
It seems that this new character called Lady KaKa has created a new genre for herself; it certainly is not Dada or Surrealism but a dingleberry on the ass of the mindless generation of brainwashed consumer sheeple to devour without any thought or reason.
“The people now consume excrement without even batting an eyelid. This is why Lady KaKa is so popular and this is why my bank account is simply overflowing with cash,” Mr Earl shouts from his Lamborghini before shooting off into the California sunset.
Lady KaKa is to be
honoured for services rendered to the Music Industry at the 136th Music Biz Awards in Los Angeles on April 23.