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Ocasio-Cortez Smuggles Her Pet Chihuahua into Congress

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Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who represents the 14th District of New York, has been reprimanded for bringing her pet Chihuahua, Okie, into the Congressional building whilst in session.

Security is already tight since the many threats that occur daily, so Ocasio-Cortez could be pulled up on a disciplinary commission hearing for her oversight with her pet.

“We strictly do not allow animals or any other things like that into the building, so when we found the congresswoman with a live Chihuahua in the building, we had to evacuate the area and shut the building down temporarily for security reasons,” head of security at the Capitol Hill building told the Washington Times.

Immediately, Republicans seized on the congresswoman’s error and called for Ocasio-Cortez to be charged with endangering staff who could have been bitten by the animal or caught rabies.

Democrats are however standing by the congresswoman and demanding a pet day where members of Congress can bring in their pets for the working day.

“Ocasio-Cortez had to smuggle her beloved Chihuahua in her lunch bag, how bad is that? We should be allowed to bring our pets into the Congressional building even when in session,” Nancy Pelosi, who owns a pitbull lovingly called ‘Killer’ told the disciplinary panel.

Not only did Ocasio-Cortez smuggle the pet into the building but she gave the dog a job title, salary and email address much to the anger of officials in charge of security for the building. This act alone goes above and beyond any rules set down for members of congress and is a gross misappropriation of liberties afforded to congressional representatives.

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Why Mobile Betting Just Made Having an Online Flutter a lot Easier

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Imagine the whole world of sports opening up to you to bet on with a simple press of a button on your phone wherever you are, at any time. The extensive opulence of choice has now been opened up for the mobile market, where you can be anywhere and have a quick flutter on that game you’ve been keeping an eye on.

All the UK racehorse events, all the premiership games, all the tennis matches, and it’s not just UK centric sports but we’re talking global events like the NBA, MFL, MLB, NHL, AFL, and MMA all featuring heavily with Mobilebet voucher code.

You could be just about to have that all important job interview and are sitting quietly in the lobby. Why not sign up and get a free tenner bet, imagine winning irrespective of what happens in the interview?

Mobile betting has really come into its own and signing up is just a few clicks away from winning some real cash, especially with those free betting vouchers, and a dedicated app.

Whether you are travelling, or stuck in an elevator on the 51st floor, or on a date with the most boring person you have ever met, there’s something magical about putting on that bet with the chance to win big.

It’s not only pre-match betting that will get the juices flowing, but mobile betting with Mobilebet will also give you the opportunity to conduct in-play live betting on football, tennis, basketball and baseball games. During play, you can analyse all the stats, which are freely available so you can make those crucial bet decisions. An additional tool that will most definitely come in useful is the ability to cash out, and reduce your losses or secure profits at any time.

Not only has mobile betting opened up the vast world of the sportsbook up, but it also holds a whole universe of casino games to indulge in, whether you’re into slots or other casino games, the choice is amazing to behold.

Gaming on the go is now 100% secure, with 128-bit encryption and that all too important customer service line that can help you with anything you need.

The world truly has opened up, as the need to visit the local High Street bookies has diminished, brighten up your life, bring that excitement back when you’re out and about elsewhere. The games never stop playing, and this is why you can’t miss those chances to win big and make your day that extra bit more special.

Why Traditional Marketing Methods Are in Decline

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Marketing has long been centred on advertising in print and on the TV screens. That has traditionally been the easiest way to get a message out to a large audience, as well as being the most successful. Over the last five to ten years though, things have started to change. Advertising spending budgets have started to move towards the digital marketplace over the more traditional methods. People are consuming media in a whole host of different ways, with television taking a huge hit in viewing figures due to streaming services and other ways of watching high-quality video. But is that the only reason traditional marketing is in decline?

Ignoring threats

While the rise of different forms of media cannot be discounted as a reason why traditional marketing is currently on the losing side, a lot of the blame must lay with the people that control traditional forms of media. They did not see the rise in other forms of media as a serious threat. This is most apparent in print media. Newspapers have suffered a sharp decline in circulation, most of this due to the ease with which people can gain access to news online, for free. This led to a decline in the value of their advertising space which means that marketing campaigns are no longer focused in this area as much as previously. While it does not mean that traditional marketing is completely dead, it is well on the way.

While television and radio are not yet suffering to the same degree as print media, they are still going through change. They are somewhat ignoring the growing threat of online streaming that is slowly reducing their audience share. That will lead to a similar situation where advertising revenue will fall away as viewers move towards the newer mediums. This will be another nail in the coffin of traditional marketing.

What does new marketing offer?

New marketing offers a much greater amount of customisation of brands. This allows for ads to be targeted towards specific metrics and demographics. With this greater level of customisation comes much higher levels of success and reward. That is obviously far more appealing to marketing departments.

The ability to target ads directly to certain demographics means that as new marketing becomes more common the ability to utilise it successfully will increase. The more data you can make available the more efficient and effective it will be. This is a growth period for modern marketing, and it is likely to grow further as time goes on. With the growth in modern marketing techniques expected to skyrocket it is important to make sure that your brand is protected from malicious attacks of any kind. Some businesses experience targeted attacks designed to spread falsehoods about a brand. An organisation like Reputation Defender can ensure that your brand is protected from those kinds of attacks. It is essential to be protected from reputational attacks, because just one poor review can change how your brand is perceived.

The lower cost of modern marketing is also something that brands take into account. It is a lot cheaper to have an ad that is targeted at a specific demographic of people across social media than it is to run an ad in a local newspaper that has a much wider demographic. Modern marketing is not just more specific, it also achieves that at a lower cost. This combined with the ability of cookies to learn about the habits of consumers means that modern marketing has access to a lot more data than ever before and as such is able to do a much more efficient job.

Can traditional marketing survive?

There are two answers to this question. If traditional marketing continues down the path that it is currently on, then no, it cannot survive. That is because it is slowly being phased out of the market both in terms of price and effectiveness. Just as newspapers refused to change with the times, traditional marketing methods could go the same way. However, it is important to note that it is not too late. If the methods behind traditional marketing can work alongside new marketing methods then there could be a place for both. If those who are advocates for traditional marketing are willing to change their stance then it has a chance, if they do not do so then traditional marketing methods could well be gone for good.

What Casino Games Require Skill and What Are Left to Luck?

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Gambling is a game of chance, but some games require more luck than others. It is possible to take part in casino games that are more about skill than leaving it all up to fate. Blackjack, for example, is a game where it’s possible to steer the odds in your favour, whereas slot machines are a purely chance-based activity where the outcome is anyone’s guess. This is a guide to the games where you’ll need to have knowledge of how it works and strategy on your side and others where you don’t need to rely on anything except lady luck.

Games of Luck

The outcome of these games is purely random but there are two things to remember when playing casino games like this, which are that the house always has an edge over the player, and that the player’s task is the try and work out the outcome of the game for certain games like Craps or Sic Bo whereas others won’t have this option, such as slots. Some games that are just up to luck on the day include:

  • Online bingo
  • Keno
  • Roulette
  • Instant win games
  • Scratch cards
  • Slot machines

A game like lightning roulette, for example, is purely down to how the dealer spins the wheel – you have no control of the number it hits when it stops and there are no patterns, as every spin has its own probability. A game like Craps, however, is mostly down to luck but if you have some level of dice-throwing strategy, then it is possible to turn the game slightly in your favour.

Games of Skill

There are pros and cons to skill-based casino games, but the most common games that involve this include:

  • Blackjack
  • Poker
  • Sports betting

With these games, it’s possible to make decisions that will impact how the game plays out and whether or not you’re going to win. Of course, luck still factors in to an extent, but less so with these games that those listed above. There are benefits to this, in the sense that if you can fully understand how the game works and the strategy behind it, you have more chance of winning at the end. You can also lower the house edge with these games, whereas you can’t with games like slot machines or roulette. These games do require more work and thought though, so for some players they won’t find them as enjoyable as a game that’s simple to play.

If you’re someone who prefers the thrill of gambling when the outcome is based on fate, then luck-based casino games are definitely the way to go. But if you prefer to have a hand in how the game runs and want the satisfaction of feeling like you earned a win through your mathematical proficiency, then it’s a good idea to practice playing skill-based games and become really knowledgeable in the various ways you can lower the house edge in your favour.

Thomas Markle Creates Banana Pizza to Commemorate Meghan Birth

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Estranged father of Meghan, Thomas Markle, has created a culinary delight to commemorate the upcoming birth of his royal grandchild which he will probably sadly never meet.

“I wanted to do something remarkable to commemorate the birth of my first royal grandchild,” Mr Markle told the National Enquirer magazine on Thursday.

According to Mr Markle, the idea popped into his head when he was watching the news and saw his daughter signing bananas at a prostitute centre in Bristol, England.

“I watched that on the news and I literally had tears flowing down my cheeks as I was eating a large pepperoni pizza at the time. Then, zing, an idea popped in my head. I could get back with my daughter by doing a good deed myself! Like create an original pizza that I can name the Meghan Banana Royale Supreme.”

The pizza was created and patented by Thomas Markle on the 10th February 2019, and is now really popular in the Rosarito Beach, Mexico area where Thomas rents a single room apartment for $70 a month.

“He’s hoping when Meghan sees the pizza, she will have a change of heart and bring him back into the royal family fold,” a family friend revealed.

The Meghan Banana Royale Supreme pizza recipe

1 x pizza base (25″ diameter)

1 gallon mashed banana and tomato puree sauce

20 x bananas peeled

5 x tins of anchovies

800 grams mozzarella cheese

1 x sharpie pen

Buy or make the pizza base dough, mash a bunch of bananas in a bowl, throw in some tomato puree, mix for two hours. Peel 20 bananas, eat some, slice the remaining bananas, drink a beer, watch the news about Meghan. Place cheese over pizza banana sauce, place banana slices and anchovies over cheese. Bake until bananas go black. Use the sharpie to write positive messages like ‘You are special’ and ‘Keep on sucking!’ around the baked pizza dough.

Liar Theresa May Goes Back On Previous Lie About a Lie

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According to reports coming from 10 Downing Street, Theresa May has gone back on a previous lie about a lie, that concerned something about a lie she told about the backstop in Ireland, which was revealed to be a lie as well.

Reporting for Sky news, political correspondent, Faisal Islam, who knows everything about politics, revealed the latest lies told by Theresa May, are indeed lies.

“Theresa May has revealed the latest lies she has spoken from her lying mouth. These lies are not different from the previous lies she has spoken, and speaks on a daily basis, but lies upon lies, where her lies end and begin are lies as well. Her latest lies relate to the Irish backstop and she positively reneges on her previous lies by adding more lies to her original lie about the backstop lie.”

Theresa May’s lies have become so intricate in fact that many in her Cabinet believe that her lies are true lies.

“I believe that the lies Theresa May has been saying are true lies. That is to say, that the lie is a truth because it is a lie that can be believed in certain circumstances, especially if one is living in an environment where lies are constantly seen as truth, like you know we do in parliament every fucking lying day,” a confused Amber Rudd told the media before falling down on her knees sobbing copiously.

Why Getting a Lobotomy is the Latest Celebrity Craze

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What have Justin Bieber, David Beckham and Heather Locklear got in common?

They have all had lobotomies, and it’s the latest celebrity fad that is taking celebrities to a much better, more manageable place in Hollywood and the entertainment business.

“They’ve had all the tattoos, in fact tattoos are out now. I was acquisitioned by Justin Bieber to conduct a lobotomy on his brain. After a psychological evaluation, I agreed,” brain surgeon and neurologist, Dr. Helmut Jensen, told the LA Times.

Lobotomies don’t come cheap, it is estimated that Bieber’s procedure cost about $38,000 but the results of the operation are amazing.

The simple process involves severing connections in the brain’s prefrontal cortex. Most of the connections to and from the prefrontal cortex, the anterior part of the frontal lobes of the brain are severed giving peace of mind to the recipient.

Why are celebrities all getting a lobotomy?

“Many celebrities like Bieber, Beckham and others have very low IQs, and the amount of problems life deals out every day can overwhelm their simple minds. Like they watch the news and are completely confused and affected by what is going on, this is why they have a lobotomy so they don’t have to think about anything anymore. They can now just perform their songs or do modelling without having to think about lofty thoughts which only causes anxiety and stress,” consultant neurologist and behaviorology expert, Angela Tanner M.D. revealed.

The Kardashians have all been lobotomised, and there is very little difference to their brains before and after. The biggest celebrity recipient so far is Kanye West, who now sits in a corner of a recording studio with a MAGA hat on his head mumbling inane nonsense, absolutely no change there from before his lobotomy.

Fashion changes at quite a fast pace in celebrity land, so tattoos are now being hidden or erased. The real magic is now in the mind, where celebrities are completely erasing their thoughts, for peace of mind.

Justin Bieber, who had an IQ of 26 before his lobotomy now has an IQ of 4. This drastic change means that he does not have to get confused anymore, it is a form of relief for him, and he simply performs on stage miming as usual, then once off the stage he is very manageable.

“We just put him in the corner facing the wall in the dressing room after his performance. Not a flicker, he sits there content for hours until it is time to move him to his hotel room where he is put to bed, and the process repeated the next day,” Bieber’s manager, Alonso DuMas, told Entertainment Weekly.

Because of the latest celebrity craze, many other people are getting lobotomies as they follow their role models without question.

Why do People Play American Roulette? Freedom! That’s Why.

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If you have been hiding under rock over the last few years, you may not have been aware that the world of the Anglo-Saxons is going through a kind of existentialist crisis.

Depending on who you talk to, Britain is either preparing for the apocalypse on 29th March, or about to grab the mantle of freedom after years of oppression from European overlords.

The United States, too, is looking at Europe with an eyebrow raised, with Donald Trump sticking his finger in the wound and asking those miserly NATO Scrooges for more protection money. “Europe isn’t playing fair on trade and security” Mr Trump types into Twitter on his Chinese-made iPhone, which has been hacked – in a friendly manner – by Russian spies.

With Brexit, Britain is likely to try to make the special relationship even more special, the specialist relationship possible, and there will, of course, be plenty of debate on whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Sure, 99% of the debate will centre around chlorinated chickens, but it will be a debate, nonetheless.

Roulette may be biggest casualty of Brexit

However, there is one thing that Europe unequivocally does better than the US, and you better make sure that Mrs May has it in her withdrawal agreement – roulette. Yes, this really has nothing to with Anglo-European-American relations, but it’s an angle worth pursuing.

You see, there are two main types of roulette, the American version, handily called American roulette, and the European version. Sometimes people talk about French Roulette, but this is just European roulette with some fancy French words for ‘neighbours’ written on the table.

Regardless of what is called, the main difference of the two versions are the single zero game and the double zero game. You see, European roulette has 36 numbers and a single zero, whereas American roulette has 36 numbers with two zero slots. No big deal, right? Wrong.

Versions of both games at UK Casinos

The payouts for both games are the same, but the house-edge is better for most bets in the European version. Put simply, you are more likely to win more in European roulette, but both games are just as popular. For example, you can check out lots of live and virtual versions of European and American roulette at this online casino.

The question is: Why is American roulette still so popular? Why wouldn’t you play European roulette all the time if it has better odds? This author searched the net for opinions on the matter, and found answers like “It’s familiar”, “affordable” and “accessible”. The latter two refer to the fact that the mega casinos in places like Las Vegas will often limit the number of European roulette games, perhaps reserving them for VIP high-rollers. The American version is reserved for the common folk.

But, here in Blighty, it would boggle the mind why anyone would play American roulette. Online casinos and land casinos will offer plenty of options for European roulette, so it’s a no-brainer which one to choose. The difference in house-edge is 2.70% vs 5.26% for some bets, which can make a hell of a difference over the course of an evening. So, there you have it. European roulette needs to stay after Brexit, whereas Uncle Sam can keep his game locked away in Fort Knox.

A Guide to the 2019 Champion Hurdle

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The first day of Cheltenham is one of the most exciting on the racing calendar as the start of the action is marked by the famous Cheltenham roar. Thousands travel from all over the world and millions are wagered across the four days.

The highlight of Day One is undoubtedly the 90-year-old Champion Hurdle – the jewel in National Hunt calendar. This Grade 1 race for four-year-olds and over forms part of the Triple Crown of Hurdling along with Newcastle’s Fighting Fifth Hurdle and Kempton’s Christmas Hurdle. The race features eight fences and is run left-handed over a distance of 2m 87 yards.

Famous winners

Back in 1989/90, the Sir Michael Stoute-trained gelding Kribensis became the only horse ever to win the Triple Crown; however, he only ever one Champions Hurdle.
Hatton’s Grace, Sir Ken, Persian War, See You Then and Istabraq were all three-time winners of the Champions Hurdle. Istabraq was favourite to win a fourth before the 2001 event was cancelled due to a nationwide outbreak of foot and mouth disease. He returned in 2002, but pulled up with muscle problems after just two fences.

Top trainers and jockeys

Tim Molony (on Hatton’s Grace in 1951 and Sir Ken in 1952, 1953 and 1954) and Ruby Walsh (on Hurricane Fly in 2011 and 2013, Faugheen in 2015 and Annie Power in 2016) are the only two jockeys to have won the race on four occasions.

Nicky Henderson has trained the most winners with seven overall. He claimed consecutive wins with See You Then in 1985, 1986 and 1987, but had to wait until 2009 for his next winner, Punjabi. He triumphed again the following year with Binocular and won the last two renewals with this year’s favourite Buveur D’Air.

2019 Champion Hurdle preview & tips

Those looking for Champion Hurdle 2019 tips could do worse than look at 2017 and 2018 winner Buveur d’Air. The Nicky Henderson-trained eight-year-old is aiming to become the sixth horse to win the event three times, extending Henderson’s tally to eight wins in the process.

With preparations well on track, the dual winner is priced at 2/1 to chalk up a historic hat-trick in March. He impressed when returning to action in the Fighting Fifth Hurdle at Newcastle to record an 11th straight win. He followed that with a second place by a short head at Kempton, but can be forgiven for making a rare mistake three out. With seven Grade 1 wins in his last 13 races, Buveur d’Air still looks the pick of the bunch.

Champions Parade, Sandown, April 2017.
Carine06
Buveur D’Air

For those looking for an each-way option, Melon is worth a look. A couple of mistakes hampered his progress in recent runs at Leopardstown, but the seven-year-old was second by a neck in this event last year and is expected to come on from recent outings. With prices as high as 20/1 available, he looks to be the prime each-way pick.

Abortion May Be Unsavoury But World Needs More Urgently

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There is a certain hypocrisy to the Western white predominantly right wing Christians who are against abortion. The majority do not want immigrants, they do not want ethnics, blacks or minorities yet they are pro-life anti-abortionists which will only mean more migrant children, blacks and ‘ethnics’. How is that even a possibility? Is it not a paradox?

Then you have the pro-female choice faction, who are mainly in the leftist political bracket, and love immigration, no borders, and ethnic diversity, but support aborting the offspring of those groups, thus reducing their populations. This is another paradox of sorts.

The truth is, if the global population does not start increasing the level of contraception, sterilisation and abortion soon, there will be a massive boom in population levels globally in the next thirty to forty years.

pollution earth1

 

The developing nations are constantly developing, pumping out material into the atmosphere from their factories as they increase their industrialisation. This increase in productivity means the populations increase as well depleting finite resources from the earth.

The third world nations are developing their infrastructure, manufacturing and increasing populations almost exponentially. What do poor people do best? They fuck and have as many unsustainable children as they can. This is also reflected in cultural tradition, where in some countries, the goal is to have as many kids as possible so they can all look after you in old age.

Abortion, although an unsavoury method of eradicating pregnancy should be encouraged and promoted to the full globally. They need to have abortion trucks going from city to city, town to town, village to village aborting as many pregnancies as possible. There needs to be whole convoys of these abortion vans set loose on the populations to do their job.

We need to educate people from youth to always use contraception, or to be sterilised at the onset of puberty. In fact, thirty years ago, global authorities should have implemented sterilisation at birth which would have been the best way to deal with the population problem.

flats

The Africans, the Chinese, the Indians, and all the other heavy breeders need to all be stopped. They need to all stop what they are doing now, because there will not be an earth left soon if they continue at this pace.

There must be urgency in this matter, all NGOs, all aid agencies and all medical staff worldwide must mobilise as one unit. All media must be persistent with their constant education broadcasts in all languages.

In 1984, the misguided self-serving idiot called Bob Geldof created Live Aid, which achieved nothing in stopping African starvation. Instead most of the money raised was siphoned off by corrupt government ministers in the African nations that were targeted. If, however, Geldof, had pushed for mass global abortion and sterilisation of these nations, then the world would have actually been better off today.

There is only one way to save the earth and its resources, and that is a massive reduction in breeding worldwide. Whole generations must be wiped out. Whole villages must lie empty. Let the plants and animals breathe. Let the earth sigh in relief for a change.

We must allow scientists and technological advances to increase the pace in depopulation. They will find clinically efficient methods over time that will supersede the current brutal methods. If we have a far more humane, and efficient way of population reduction, then it will be accepted far easier than previous messy methods.

green dump

 

The legacy of humanity so far can be seen by the rubbish dumps so high that they cannot be climbed. The vast dumping grounds where plastics and poison leeches into the soil and water table.

Every day, the same people who plundered the earth with their industrial farming, and polluting factories to become billionaires, are now pushing the blame onto the people directly and saying it is their fault they have become too many, when it is the industrialists who encouraged population growth and plunder in the first place. This hypocrisy is the default manner that the elite always pursue, they first plunder everything for themselves, then push the blame onto the ordinary people.

As you walk down the polluted crowded streets, the crowded hospitals, the traffic filled roads, the oversubscribed schools, the crowded public transport, the overcrowded job centres, think to yourself, is this what we have become? Is this the pinnacle of human civilisation, where you cannot even breathe the fucking air anymore without coughing, where you cannot swim in the sea anymore without being covered in plastic bags, used condoms, and raw sewage?

Embrace contraception, embrace abortion, embrace sterilisation, embrace Tinder and Grindr because they spread disease and HIV, embrace war.

This is the only way forward for the planet…time is running out…

pollute time