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Fountain of Youth: Meghan Bathes in Asses Milk Daily Say Servants

Mandy Bagge
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Fountain of Youth: Meghan Bathes in Asses Milk Daily Say Servants

Possibly channelling Cleopatra, but not quite Countess Elizabeth Bathory, the copper bath in Frogmore castle is already getting its usage quota. The Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle does not look a day older than her 47 years on this earth.

“Me lady bathes in asses milk every day between the hours of 8 and 10 in the morning. It is supposed to keep her young and beautiful. The milk is siphoned from the teats of virgin donkeys from a nearby farm in the Windsor estate,” the servant revealed.

It is not scientifically proven if bathing in asses milk is good for maintaining one’s youthful looks, but if Meghan Markle does it, then it must be.

The Daily Mail is already running articles targeting women on where to buy the best donkey milk and how to acquire a copper bath. The frenzy is all too apparent as many ladies across the nation are now rushing everywhere searching for asses milk to bathe in.

“It’s not something you can just buy in Tesco. When I heard Meghan does it, I bought a bunch of donkeys specifically to milk them every day. We keep them in the garage which is now an impromptu stable,” Gloria Hunnisapple, 58, from Braintree, Essex reveals in another tabloid.

Asses milk does not come cheap, and the estimated cost to the British taxpayer just for Meghan’s morning beauty regime is estimated to be approximately £8.6 million per annum.

Wherever she is, Meghan has to have fresh asses milk for her daily bathing session, or she gets extremely angry and has an assy fit.

Naturally, Prince Harry, the real ass in this whole sorry tale, now lives in a separate wing of the cottage and has no say in the matter.

Where to Escape If Labour Voted In

Mandy Bagge
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Where to Escape If Labour Voted In

Listening to the evil Marxist stirrings of Labour Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell, one would think we were Kulaks in rural Russia about to have all our property handed over to the state, and all our means of survival confiscated by Stalin’s thugs whilst left to eat grass and finally resorting to cannibalism for much-needed protein.

History may one day repeat itself, McDonnell is a staunch hardcore Marxist, admirer of Josef Stalin, and he admits it freely.

“If you have a garden, you will be taxed heavily. If you own any property, we will triple tax it so heavily that there will be nothing left when you fucking die. Your dreams of aspiration or wealth creation are an affront to soviet collectivist ideology. Communism means that all in the UK must be equal in suffering. Spreading wealth means robbing those who work hard for their livelihoods and giving their hard-earned money to feckless, uneducated scum who cannot and have not worked a day in their lives,” McDonnell revealed at a recent Labour conference about deporting all Jews from Britain.

vote labour

Dekulakization in Britain

Dekulakization was the Soviet campaign of political repressions created by Stalin which included arrests, deportations, and executions of millions of prosperous peasants and their families in the 1929–1932 period of the first five-year plan.

Hunger, disease and mass executions during dekulakization led to as many as five million people dying as history may very well repeat itself in the UK if Labour under Corbyn and McDonnell ever get into power.

vintage-Labour-poster-Corbyn-s-ideas-are-prevailing360

What do you do if Labour ever wins another election

The key thing to do is to watch the signs before an election and prepare. You must sell your property/business/valuables plus move any assets off shore as soon as possible. You will need a good accountant to sort this out immediately.

All property in the UK will lose over 80% of their value overnight once Labour are elected. All your assets in banks will also be in danger of seizure.

Due to the large increases in taxation, if you do earn a large salary in private employment within the UK, your take home pay will be reduced to practically nothing. Unless of course you are a union official or senior member of the Labour party/ Labour council/ Civil Service where massive increases will occur.

singapore

Places to go

  • The EU countries are risky at the moment due to changing political circumstances, however there are still some safe havens in Europe to escape to. Do your own research.
  • South America is a dangerous shithole unless you are a billionaire and can afford a posse of bodyguards wherever you go. Look at socialist ‘utopia’ Venezuela, which is heavily endorsed by the Labour party as a success, as an example.
  • Africa is equally dangerous, and you have to have enormous amount of funds to survive.
  • Forget about China or Russia.
  • Singapore is a good bet but expensive.
  • Switzerland is okay, but expensive.
  • America will probably collapse within the next decade.
  • The Caribbean is dangerous and lawless.
  • The Middle East is dangerous, and can kick off at any moment.
  • Canada – There is some safety in the wilds, but remember heavily socialist gov.
  • Australia and New Zealand will be invaded by China within the next decade.

If Labour were to win an election, there would be a period of two to six months to implement all tasks to remove yourself and your wealth from the UK before all their punishing tax laws were implemented.

If Labour are elected into power again, you can be sure that they will win successive elections. Labour already implement a system of making sure all migrants vote Labour, and during the period from 1997, it is established that over 10 million migrants were allowed into the UK under the regime of Blair. With a dedicated voter base, it is hard to lose any election. The Conservatives on the other hand have a voter base of elderlies who are dying off.

Tip: Once you leave the UK, do not regret your action. Instead, pat yourself on the back, because you have not only saved your hard-earned wealth and assets, but you have escaped an authoritarian regime that resembles the Stasi, or Stalin’s Soviet Russia.

Smart Toaster: How To Choose The Right Toaster For Your Home

Mandy Bagge
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Smart Toaster: How To Choose The Right Toaster For Your Home

A toaster is an easy-to-use small kitchen appliance for toasting bread with electrically conductive spirals. How to choose the right toaster for your home, without making a mistake?

The important quality of toasters is to toast bread without oil. Dried bread is healthier than fried.

If you plan to toast bread slices and buns, take a regular toaster. All models have several holes, typically 2 or 4. For safety reasons, choose from models with metal housings, the plastic ones do not keep high temperatures and become very hot.

If you also want your toaster to grill food, buy a grill toaster or a sandwich maker, having checked its functions beforehand. For a high cooking speed, choose the device with convection or infrared heating. Determine where it is to be placed, as some models are larger.

Toasters are divided into 3 categories:

  • Manual. Toasting has to be controlled by a person. To toast bread slices on the other side, a knob that turns it over is rotated.
  • Semi Automatic. These models are equipped with a switch to protect the appliance from overheating in case of abnormal operation. Such toasters control the toasting process by temperature.
  • Automatic. Control the process of toasting bread. They have a thermostatic switch or timer which makes bread slices pop out when they are ready.
    From the history of toasters

In the 4th century B.C., the ancient Egyptians learned how to bake bread by roasting it on both sides over charcoals. The Romans, who spent a lot of time in military campaigns, fried bread on fire. Latin for “tostum” means “burn.” Gradually conquering new lands, they have passed this custom on to other nations, including the tribes that inhabited the Albion.

Later, when the colonization of America began, the British introduced croutons to the settlers which then became the national treasure of the Americans. The very first toaster was created by a British company in 1893. The iron wiring burned and sparkled, and the bread tasted like hell.

A toaster was then reinvented in 1909, in the U.S. which brought a lot of income to Frank Shailor who patented the invention. His toasters baked bread without burnt flavor.

However, one inconvenience was that a base (cap) at the end of the cord was screwed into the electric bulb holder, and toasts had to be constantly monitored so that they would not burn.

In 1919, the devices that automatically shut down upon work completion appeared, and in 1926, toasts learned to pop out on their own. In 1933, private bakeries established the production of threaded bread, especially suitable for toasters, and in the ’40-’60s of the last century, the devices were standardized. Since then, a toaster has undergone design changes and received a perfect design, considering the requirements of modern times.

Which type of toaster to choose?

When choosing a toaster model, the following functions play a significant role (check out list here): the way of bread placing and cooking control. Toasters can be horizontal or vertical. Popular models are vertical, some of them have extended functionality: standard toaster ovens, convection toaster ovens, sandwich makers or conveyor grill toasters. Which one is the best?

If you plan to roast your bread, take a horizontal toaster. Manufacturers of such equipment work in the lower price segment. The advantage is the heating of toasts and bakery products.

If you need advanced device functions, buy a toaster oven. It comes with horizontal loading and is functional. In addition, it prepares hot sandwiches or bakery, and even cooks meat.

Conveyor toasters are also available with horizontal loading, but they are more suitable for public catering than for home use. They are highly productive and produce up to 100 toasts per hour.

Need a small device that won’t take up much space on the kitchen counter? A sandwich maker will do. It cooks toasts, hot sandwiches, pancakes with stuffing, shawarma, or taco. There are also professional toaster ovens that will feed a big family and are suitable for small restaurants.

Toaster characteristics

Some expensive toasters have a touch screen control surface. Cheap versions come with a circular scale with special hatching without numbers and symbols.

Bread slots are 4.7-5.5″ deep. The latest models are equipped with a heating compartment where the toasting process is accelerated. These compartments use convection or infrared heating. Modern models also have a non-stick coating and come with various additional functions, e.g. defrost, keep warm, bagel, cancellation buttons (stop toasting at any time), etc. Everything is automated and combined in one cycle. There are also porcelain-coated toasters which are easy to clean.

All devices are equipped with crumb trays. This is aesthetically pleasing and safe since crumbs do not fall on a table and burn when heated, the tray is easy to remove and clean. Some models come with handles, lockable lids, nozzles, cord storages, etc.
Additional functions

  • Warming. A special rack ensures even heating of bakery products.
  • Defrosting. Useful if the bread is kept in the freezer.
  • Centering. Ensures that bread is evenly toasted. Helps place a slice of bread in the center and toast it evenly on both sides.
  • Burnt impressions or smiles. Both kids and adults will be delighted to have a toast with a smiley face for breakfast.
  • Memory function. No need to set up a toasting mode the next time you use your toaster.
  • Infrared sensors. These replace the usual timers and control the temperature. A ceramic heater prevents the smell of hot metal from spreading when the appliance is on.

How to maintain a toaster

After use, disconnect the toaster, let it cool down and then clean it. Remove and wash the crumb tray. If there is no tray, turn the cool device upside down and shake out the crumbs.

Do not use abrasive pads and powder detergents, they will scratch the housing. Use a universal cleaning agent. Apply it to a paper towel and use it to remove stains.

When you go toaster shopping, pay attention to its features and material. A toaster can be made of an aluminum alloy, stainless steel, or high-quality plastic. Consider thermal safety characteristics to avoid burns when the appliance is in use. Ask a seller whether the appliance switches off automatically when small pieces of toast get inside.

Basic precautions

Toasters must not be located near flammable objects or covered during operation.
Always switch it off after use.

Standard toasters are for bread products only. Do not toast foods covered with glaze or grease.

Never use water or any sort of cleaner inside a toaster.

When the Peasants Have a Voice

Mandy Bagge
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When the Peasants Have a Voice

Throughout history, the peasant has always been silenced, whilst the aristocracy and administrative controllers were the only literate higher echelon. The elite rulers conversed in intricate languages, indulged in books, and they expanded their minds with science, literature, poetry, alchemy, magick, freemasonry. The feudal peasants who were viewed simply as chattel were mostly uneducated illiterate buffoons, easily fooled by their superiors.

“In the past, those of the educated, literate sphere could run rings around the majority of the peasant population. The elite, taught in the classics, schooled in logic, and multiple languages, were superior beings on a different level intellectually to the peasant animalistic underling. The unwashed peasant masses were there simply to serve the hierarchy, they tended the land, tended the gardens of the controllers, and when it was time for war, they were in the front lines being ripped to shreds by cannon balls.

“Who are the peasant equivalent today? It seems, in the West, almost everyone is educated to a relative standard, and almost everyone owns a flat screen television, as well as all other mod cons. Things have certainly moved on since the days when peasants lived in huts, and tended fields they had to rent out from the land owner. Not only that, today, everyone has a voice. In the past, if a peasant dared to question their superior or even open their mouths with an opinion, they would be heavily scolded, or in the worst case scenario, executed.

peasants

“Disparity in wealth however does still exist. What is different today is that class structure is not as rigidly adhered to as before. The nouveau riche may be from the peasant class but due to their newly acquired wealth, they can attempt to mix with those who hold class, status and old money. The peasants of today are the habitually poor of the West, as well as the Third World. Migrants, who are exploited for little or no pay, and the perpetually down-trodden sub-classes of Western society, addled in drugs, living pay cheque to pay cheque, or to each sign-on session at the welfare office. The working poor are the next level of peasant class, these poor souls may have some assets, but they are shackled heavily to material goods they can barely afford. These are the walking zombies, who aspire, but have to commute for miles every day to conduct an inane soulless job before they die early.

“Why did the elite allow the peasants to have a voice?

“Study the mid to late 19th century onwards and the answers are all there. But what of the internet age? The simple answer is information. Never has been such a plethora of information and habitual data ejaculated from the mass peasantry. They have been presented with mobile phone cameras/listening devices and encouraged to use them at every opportunity. This is good, because the 0.5% of society wants to know everything about those they control, plus they want to be forewarned of any danger that may be posed by the superior numbers of plebs. They also need to know how to control each and every peasant, and what to sell them, and how to control their vote. Herding cattle these days involves much more prowess than before, because of the sheer numbers that are being herded. These cash cows have been milked for centuries, their tax is the sustenance, the nectar that affords the controllers their right to not work like the peasants do. Without the consumer of products, there would not be mass riches for the elite to pursue their true calling, their art, their dreams. Whether, a Manhattan apartment or a villa in the country or a space rocket to Mars, the consumer paid for all their riches.

“The factories and mass manufacturing were built by the elite as they pumped out massive clouds into the atmosphere, poisoning the earth to get rich. It is however rather ironic that in today’s globalised world, the same people who built the poisoning factories are now blaming the peasants for overpopulation and carbon emissions.

“The future for the mass consumer (peasant tax slave) is therefore an irrelevancy. Once the necessary technical prowess to create subservient mechanical slaves ruled by obedient AI programming is achieved, the consumerist society will end. There will not be any photographs or documentary film of those following days when they come.”

Four Upcoming Android Games That Could Be Classics

Mandy Bagge
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Four Upcoming Android Games That Could Be Classics

Mobile games are hugely popular right now and their popularity certainly shows no sign of waning. This trend is being witnessed right across the spectrum from Imangi Studios Temple Run and Pokemon GO to Alto’s Odyssey and mFortune Bingo.

However, this has also led to there being thousands of games populating the Play Store which serves Android users, and it’s certainly quantity over quality. From time to time though, there will be some great games which manage to stand out from the crowd, going on to become classics.

We’ve done our best to select four of the best upcoming titles to keep an eye out for below.

Apex Legends

Apex Legends which is made by leading developers EA is a game that almost became an

apex-legends
Apex Legends – EA Games

instant hit with players when it released on console and PC. The battle royale market is littered with games right now, so it had to take something special such as Apex to wrestle some control back from other titles in the genre.

Both Fortnite and PUBG excelled as battle royale titles on PC and console, and then made the move to mobile, and now it looks likely that Apex Legends will follow suit. EA CEO said this on the possibility of a mobile version, “We are looking at how to take the game to mobile and cross play over time.” When Apex Legends drops on Android, it will be a complete game changer.

Mario Kart Tour

mario kart tour
Mario Kart Tour- Nintendo

Most gamers around the world will have experienced Mario Kart in the past, with the game

series rightfully earning the legendary tag. Mario Kart has appeared on console and handheld, and is the perfect pick up and play title, so the great news is that it’s coming to Android too.

The even better news is that Mario Kart Tour will be free to play for gamers, while there will also be an option to spend in game on various items. Set for release this summer, Nintendo are keeping a lot of details under their hat, but one thing’s for certain, Mario Kart never disappoints.

H1Z1

H1Z1 is another game which has huge potential when it makes the switch to mobile. H1Z1 is a zombie apocalypse game which has battle royale at heart, with that mode developed by PlayerUnknown’s Brendan Greene, aka Mr PUBG. While it may be another battle royale game in a long line of them to hit the scene, H1Z1 could be a game changer.

Yes, we know that Fortnite and PUBG Mobile control the market right now, with millions of active daily users between them, but the linkup between Daybreak, the studio behind H1Z1, and NantWorks, could produce an all-time classic.

Human: Fall Flat

human fall flat
Human Fall Flat

Sometimes, it’s the simple games which manage to capture the imagination, and you could make a case for Human: Fall Flat in that respect. This fun title has been developed by No Breaks Games and the great news is that PC and console players already love it. The premise is simple, players must guide Bob, who will sometimes be accompanied by friends, through environments which become increasingly more difficult to navigate.

No Breaks Games have kept things very simple in the respect that Bob can only walk, climb, jump and fall, and this makes it perfect for mobile as a pick up and play title. The Android port is expected later this year, and we can’t wait.

Inside the Newly Furnished Frogmore Cottage ‘Blinged Up’ On Orders From Meghan

Mandy Bagge
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Inside the Newly Furnished Frogmore Cottage ‘Blinged Up’ On Orders From Meghan

After the UK taxpayer footed a bill of £2.4 million to have Frogmore Cottage, Windsor renovated on orders of Meghan Markle, an invited group reveal the extravagant changes undertaken to accommodate the ‘bling’ duchess.

“Imma axe y’all to nawt tek any photigraffs ‘n’ shiet so as to preservisize da privacy ‘n’ shiet of da duchess in da Frogmore Castle ‘n’ shiet, yanumsayin?” Meghan’s personal maid, Latoyshaquanda tells reporters as they enter the newly renovated property.

Immediately, we are all dazzled by the extravagant furnishings that would make a grotesquely vulgar rapper on an episode of ‘Cribs’ blush with embarrassment.

Fifty Cent (Fiddy) would have a hernia just looking at this gold and fake diamond covered shit.

The sofas, gold and pink in colour, shine so much that many reporters have to cover their eyes, and no one is allowed to sit on anything even though the seats are covered in cheap plastic sheeting.

“Unh, unh, none o y’all muffuggas allowed on da couch. I see any o ya niggaz even tryin’ dat shit Imma bust some caps in yo azz!” Latoyshaquanda bellows at the top of her voice.

 

The paintings on the walls previously were 18th and 17th century masterpieces depicting beautiful English rural scenes but those were thrown out with the rest of the antiques and replaced with garish vulgar portraits of Meghan. There is not one picture of Harry anywhere.

“Dis here da humanitarianz room! George Clooney and his waff Anal visit here to present Meghan wit nu prajects n shiet. I dunno whut goes on here but y’all can see a map of da wurld on da wall, she gon conquer it awl!”

Later, Latoyshaquanda ushers the guests into the newly built bespoke basketball court where Megain brings all her American friends to play. There is a fully stocked bar and fast food joint to the rear. According to servants, Meghan likes to have assorted American delicacies like fried chicken wings sent up to her room on a regular basis as well as tonnes of bananas, chitlins, collard greens, rice and beans, ham hock, corn bread, chicken feet.

“Sho! She can call at 4am ‘n’ say she wants a bucket chicken, fries, onion rings, jug of cola, strawberry sundae wit awl da trimmings, some cawfee, ‘n’ a pepperoni pizza. Our chef don’ sleep, he serve dat bitch all da tam! Yanumsayin?”

The guests were not permitted to view the bedrooms, but the maid lets slip that since the baby was born, poor prince Harry now sleeps in a separate room on his own.

“Massa Harry, his room just gotta beid. Thassit! Poor mufugga! Oops!”

Someone points at a red phone.

“Dat is da phone Meghan dialls da Queen to ax her fo’ mo money! It flashes red when da Queen cawls to tell Meghan she dun somthang wrong agin! Thas when she ignore it!” Latoyshaquanda, reveals giggling to herself.

People Surprised That Marxist Leaning Internet Tech Monopoly Admits Leftist Bias

Mandy Bagge
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People Surprised That Marxist Leaning Internet Tech Monopoly Admits Leftist Bias

According to a crack team of investigators, a tech monopoly that controls what people can say, think and do through heavy-handed totalitarian censorship, as well as track their every movement and action and files it for eternity, is actively following a far left socialist agenda.

No! You don’t say? In other news, the Pope is rumoured to live in the Vatican, and bears enjoy having big steamy shits in the woods.

One thing’s for sure, this ‘news’ which many have known for years will not be acted on, and Trump will do nothing about it simply because he is not capable of doing anything about it, even if he may very well lose the 2020 election because he did nothing about it.

The unfortunate consequence of such investigations are that many good people are affected within these monopoly companies after such a broad based investigation. There could be a culling of jobs for those caught in the line of fire, when the real culprits will nevertheless get away because they are protected senior staff.

Naturally, there is not one mention about this ‘revelation’ on any corporate news site or on television and it will all be hushed under the carpet once again, forgotten for eternity.

Inspectors: Iran Very Close to Making Nuclear Weapons Grade Uranium

Mandy Bagge
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Inspectors: Iran Very Close to Making Nuclear Weapons Grade Uranium

Every day, every hour, every minute and second spent dilly-dallying is a serious cost to global security as the brutal regime of Iran comes closer to their goal of creating deadly nuclear weapons.

Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has been quoted calling the Jewish state of Israel a “cancerous tumor” of the region that must be “removed and eradicated.”

“Our stance against Israel is the same stance we have always taken,” he said. “#Israel is a malignant cancerous tumor in the West Asian region that has to be removed and eradicated: it is possible and it will happen.”

Suffice to say, one can guess who the primary target of any nuclear missile will be.

Whilst Donald Trump Twitters away and is indecisive, worrying about 150 lives, when the lives of millions are at stake, and the EU cannot come up with a solution to the broken nuclear deal, the world stands by watching the aggressive brutal Iranian regime getting ready to enrich their uranium to 90% nuclear weapons grade.

Former IAEA deputy director general Olli Heinonen revealed, during a recent visit to Israel, that his analysis and extensive research deduced Iran will be in a position to build nuclear weapons within six months. His comment was referring to the time needed to enrich uranium in the quantity and quality required to produce a nuclear bomb.

Heinonen served as the IAEA’s deputy director general and was head of its inspection department in the last decade and should not be dismissed with a pinch of salt.

Iran has progressed since 2003 in the development of nuclear explosive devices in the AMAD program. That program was intended to produce five 10-kiloton nuclear bombs which could then be fitted onto the Shahab-3 ballistic missile warhead. This program was revealed when the Iranian nuclear archive was smuggled out by Israel during a daring clandestine mission.

Iran’s nuclear weapons program for the enrichment of uranium stems mainly from the plant in Natanz containing 15,420 centrifuges from Iran’s first IR1 design at power reactor grade, 1,008 more advanced centrifuges of the IR2m design. Additionally, there are 2,710 IR1 centrifuges were installed at the Fordow enrichment facility primed to enrich weapons grade uranium.

Based on data published by the IAEA, it can be roughly estimated that if Iran breaks the nuclear deal, it will be able to enrich uranium to 90% (the level of enrichment required to produce a nuclear weapon core) in the quantity of 200 to 250 kilograms – sufficient to produce more than 10 nuclear bombs a year.

The Strait of Hormuz, a narrow passage where a third of the world’s oil tankers pass is the key to the stand-off between the USA and Iran. This Strait of Hormuz concerns multiple nations, with China receiving 91% of their oil through it, so the Iranians blocking the Strait will affect China even more than any other nation. Why is China silent right now?

Donald Trump will have to step up to the plate soon, if he does not, the state of global peace will take a turn for the worse very quickly. He needs to expand troop numbers in the region and extensive planning for targeted strikes and invasion must be put into operation. Now is the time, or the ill fruits of complete disaster will envelope every nation on earth.

Mike Ashley’s Disregard For Newcastle Fans Has Never Been As Blatant

Mandy Bagge
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0
Mike Ashley’s Disregard For Newcastle Fans Has Never Been As Blatant

Newcastle United fans are pretty used to being let down by club owner Mike Ashley, but the shock was thick after the team announced that Rafa Benitez will not be reprising his role as manager next season due to contract talks hitting an impasse.

Benitez, who was unable to stop the club from going down after he fashioned a late arrival in 2016, led them back to the top flight the following season, finishing 10th and 13th since then. That is more than respectable, considering Newcastle’s status nowadays, and the fans were all behind the Spanish manager, who will forever be remembered as a legend at St James’ Park.

“It is with disappointment that we announce manager Rafael Benítez will leave Newcastle United upon the expiry of his contract on 30th June 2019,” the club announced via their official website on Monday. “We have worked hard to extend Rafa’s contract over a significant period of time, however it has not been – and will not be – possible to reach an agreement with Rafa and his representatives.”

In Ashley, the fans have an owner who doesn’t seem to be bothered in the slightest by their constant disapproval and dissent. They’re hoping and praying that he does go through with a sale one day to end their agony, with every proposed transaction managing to fall through as a result of his unrelenting desire to always have his way.

 

Benitez was the man the fans wanted. The Spaniard is a proven winner, having guided both Liverpool and Chelsea to European trophies in the past. And, although his time in charge of Real Madrid did not go as planned, his body of work speaks for itself. He remains just one of two managers to lead a team outside of Real or Barcelona to La Liga glory since 2000, with two league title captures as Valencia boss.

It’s no surprise that the Newcastle support wanted him to stay put despite his frustrations with the owner and the board. He was hardly given support in terms of incoming transfers and spending cash – and the fact that he was only offered a one-year deal was never going to sit well.

Sadly, the fans are the ones who stand to lose the most from his departure, their silver lining to Ashley’s dark cloud is now gone.

The Magpies are 13/8 to finish in the top 10 next season with Betway and are hardly favoured for a top-six finish, with Betfair offering odds of 64/5 on that front. If you’re looking for the best betting deals the UK has to offer, you could find lots of no deposit free bets to choose from on thebookiesoffers.co.uk.

Bet365 has the Tyneside club 10/3 to relegate by the end of the upcoming campaign, and they’re 20/1 to finish at the bottom of the table with William Hill. Of course, a title win is hardly thought to be in the conversation where Newcastle are concerned but Leicester’s capture a few years ago will always remind us of as simple truth: anything can happen in football. The St James’ Park occupants are 400/1 to be crowned Premier League champions with Betway while current title holders and favourites Manchester City are 8/13 with Paddy Power. If you’re interested in betting on Newcastle staying up, you can find 1/5 odds at Bet Victor.

As for their managerial limbo, maybe it’s not all bad as Jose Mourinho, Claudio Ranieri and Mikel Arteta have all been named as favourites to replace Benitez, while Sean Dyche has also been linked.

Woman Banned From Instagram Doesn’t Think She Exists Anymore

Mandy Bagge
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0
Woman Banned From Instagram Doesn’t Think She Exists Anymore

Cheryl Lamb, 23, from Rotherham, used to be on Instagram. One day, she was banned from the online platform and is now completely lost emotionally and psychologically.

“I don’t feel I exist any more. Yesterday, I bought a new handbag but I did not do a selfie with me holding it. I might as well have not bought it, so I binned it. Today I was going to have a macrobiotic meal and take pics of it, but instead might as well have a burger and chips because I’m not on Instagram any more. My life is so fucking over!”

Psychologists call this new phenomenon “Instaloss”.

“One minute these neurotic narcissists are showing off these ‘wonderful’ events and places they go to, they are showing off the amazing diets they have, and posing in their selfies made up to the hilt. It gives these people meaning, and the more followers they get, the more validation to their fake image projected. Instagram users are shallow people with no clarity or meaning to their lives apart from showing off the next best picture to make themselves look bigger, and more beautiful than they are in real life. When off Instagram, these people are not alive any more, they might as well be dead, because for them, reality is a terrible place,” Dr. Anne Fetherington, a clinical psychologist revealed.

 

Amongst the shallow vulgarity of Instagram and its users, there is a sad note to jot down on the noticeboard of eternal loneliness.

What would these people on Instagram all do if their drug of narcissism and banality were to halt for a day or two?

“If life is meaningless when you are not showing off to other Instagram users, then these people would be positively suicidal. It goes without saying, the serotonin levels in their brains would be depleted to zero bringing on abject misery,” another clinical expert revealed.

The other rather more illicit side of Instagram is the way some of these narcissists make money on the platform. No, it is not through great thoughts, art work, musical prowess, or authoring a bestseller. Many make money from being paid to pose next to products where some huge hitters like the Kardashians can command six figure sums for a single photo. No doubt without the tax offices being notified. Many even spend thousands of dollars on fake Instagram followers to try to reach the heady heights of the equally plastic stars raking in literally millions of dollars every month for doing absolutely nothing

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