Bank of England to Give Everyone £10,000

LONDON - England - Mervyn King, the Bank of England's chairman, announced today, that he will give everyone in England and Wales £10,000 cash so as to kick start the ailing economy.

The Royal mint has been working overtime for the past few weeks printing up billions of pounds to fill the economic black hole left by years of negligent rule by the previous chancellor of the Exchequer, Gordon Brown.

Called, ‘Quantitative Easing’ the idea is to print so much money that the pound sterling will be practically worthless. But look on the bright side — at least we would have a lot of cash in our pockets.

“Good News”

“Every citizen in England and Wales will receive £10,000 cash from the Bank of England. You can do as you wish with the £10,000. You can buy a mars bar with it or a lollipop, you may even be able to stretch yourself to buying a packet of crisps as well. Because of devaluation, your £10,000 is equivalent to 60 pence a year ago,” Mervyn King said from his plush Mayfair residence.

There may even be plans by the government to drop the money from the air but this idea may have to be shelved because of Health and Safety concerns.

Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe’s president, yesterday commended the Bank of England on its actions with a message of solidarity for mirroring his countries economic success.