LONDON – England – The impending war could be a problem to your sensibilities and ignorance of what is happening in the world. We can help you overcome this malaise, by simply directing you to do what you have been doing all along — ignoring everything with blissful ignorance.
Please do not bother yourself with worrisome geopolitical matters, carry on with your inane bubble life. You will not need to stockpile food, prepare for a banking collapse or any other serious things like survival.
1) Please carry on surfing your Facebook page with your vacuous friends and at all costs do not think about the Ukraine and the invasion by Russia. Post more pictures of the meal you had, or better still more pictures of your kids, you are a great parent and you need to affirm this by posting pictures of every achievement they do. Oh, you’ve got a friend you don’t agree with have you? Well, it’s simple just delete them and they’re gone.
2) You must watch the latest episode of Come Dancing. This is so much more important than all out war, I wonder who is going to get thrown out this time?
3) Have you got the latest smartphone app, it’s out on android and iphone, you need to download this app and play the game for hours. If you do happen to hear any air raid sirens, simply get under your bed covers and continue playing. Don’t forget to take a selfie when the bomb drops.
4) Ah, you’ve just noticed the price of petrol has increased by 35%, as have all utilities and food prices. Do not worry yourself with such trivialities, just carry on with the latest episode of Big Brother or other reality show. Don’t forget to phone in to vote for your favourite contestant and naturally you have to be so engrossed in the show that you must talk about it at every opportunity.
5) Have you got the latest fashionable outfit? Well, this is very important. You must spend all your money on looking your best and be in with the in crowd. If you don’t do this you are unfashionable, and that’s verging on criminality, besides you have to look your best for that special supermarket trip where you can look at all the empty shelves on display.
6) What’s that celebrity doing? This is very important, you must read about celebrity x who has just thrown a tissue on the pavement and not bothered to pick it up. You must comment on it on entertainment sites and make it your life’s mission to follow inconsequential banal drippings from the entertainment section or you will be left behind in everyday conversation. Ideally, the right hand side of the Daily Mail should be your primary reading list, forget about everything else.