LONDON – England – Prince Harry is no better than a chav on benefits, many royal commentators are now saying.
Prince Harry’s chav credentials have been confirmed by his spokesman.
Prince Harry’s spokesman, Lawrence Granger, made a statement on behalf of the prince, who is in hiding at the moment after nude photographs were published of the prince yesterday: “The prince is very sorry for the hurt he has caused his family, the army and his late mother. Prince Harry has blamed his crazy antics on many factors. He is a product of a broken home, his family are living off taxpayers and he has grown up on estates all his life. He has also spent time in institutions which have made the problems worse.”
The Prime Minister, David Cameron has suggested that Prince Harry could have his benefits cut if he does not pull his weight and get a job or carry on with his Job Seekers program.
“We are monitoring Prince Harry’s case very closely, and we feel that he needs some serious help to get out of his chavvy ways. I am suggesting a taxpayer funded safari trip for young offenders could get him on the right track and also community service, which could give him a sense of responsibility and civic duty. We must try and instill some decent values in this miscreant, and I’m willing to hug the hoody, or should I say hug the Harry. Chavs like him need care and attention and not aggressive methods of rehabilitation. If you get too harsh with them they riot, as happened last summer,” Mr Cameron told Radio 4’s Politics program today.
The defiant prince ignored pleas to change his ways today by buying up a souped up Seat Leon Cupra with 54 inch rims, undercar lighting, tinted windows, a 50 inch diameter exhaust and a sound system that can make a corgi explode all over the upholstery.