Shooting is a Form of Greeting in America

We want to show you our love..

DALLAS – USA – How do you know if an American likes you? Well, the bullet holes in your chest should be a clue.

Americans love their guns so much that now social science experts have for the first time identified the different ways Americans greet each other.

“Hello. Bang!”

“Three bursts of a semi automatic means that you are happy to meet someone, but emptying a whole clip into someone you just met means that you are extra pleased to see them,” social scientist at Texas University, Dr. Gabriel Batista, told Science Journal magazine.

If you turn up to a meeting in public wearing a bullet proof vest, then you are seen by other Americans as disrespectful to gun play.

“Bulletproof vests or any type of body armour are a real no, no. You’ll get a head shot just for that, because you’re giving off the vibe that you don’t want to get shot. That’s a serious diss to a shooter,” Dr. Batista added.

“Is that a gun in your pocket..?”

If a shooter sprays bullets in every direction shooting as much as he can indiscriminately, this is seen as a sign of true joy for an American.

Spraying bullets everywhere means that an American is reaching out in all directions. He or she is showing their love for everything. Americans are very passionate people and guns are a way of showing their affection.

“As for wearing a turban in the presence of an American packing a semi-automatic pistol, you might as well put a f*cking target on your head. It’s open season on your ass,” Graham Egsitwund, an NRA spokesman in El Paso told CNN.

  • Oceanus

    Boy, you're a real fucking wit! Heavens, I can't stop laughing!

    I'm guessing you're something like a sophomore in high school. Would that be correct?

    Sophomoric in any event.You have no future as a writer, son. Try another trade.

    If the publishers of this rag have been actually paying you to turn out this drivel, they should drop you now.