Sarah Palin's popularity ratings have shot up
WASILLA – USA – Sarah Palin is going to be the first female president of the United States of America, and it is no thanks to a poison penned book by serial stalker Joe McGinniss.
In the tell-tale book written by author Joe McGinniss, Palin is portrayed as a cocaine sniffing basketball player loving adulturess, but the book which was written to thwart the wonderful Sarah Palin could very well backfire its insideous plan and cause an increase to her popularity ten-fold.
“After hearing about Sarah snorting lines of coke off an oil drum, I just slapped my forehead and said ‘She’s got my vote’. I mean she’s so exciting compared to all the other boring candidates. What have they ever done? Palin excites me, she is so sexy, I want to go on hunting trips with her coked up to the eyeballs, shoot some moose or meese, then we can rip off our clothes in the freezing cold tundra and f*ck like animals. That’s what living is about. I feel alive. When she becomes president, you know she’s going to change things because she ain’t some dumbass Democrat with a corncob stuck up their ass like Obamo, that limp dick couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse, that’s the kind of person who could f*ck up a cup of coffee. When Palin walks into a room, hell I stand to attention, in more ways than one, if you know what I mean. She’ll be coming round the mountain with the artillery, the air force and bucketloads of napalm to get things back to how they used to be in America,” Jed Wezbuck, an ex-Democrat voter from Arkansas said at a recent fundraising rally in Wisconsin.
All across America, the revelations and allegations about Sarah Palin’s past life have actually invigorated the sentiment towards her presidency.
From the East coast to the West, to the Midwest voters are shouting for the Rock’n’Roll Hockey Mom, and if there was an election held tomorrow, Palin would win by a landslide.
“We love the rock’n’roll star Sarah Palin. She ain’t boring like all the other Republicans or Democrats. we want someone human like her. She’s got the whole town’s vote and then some,” Bud Kowzinski, 45, a carpenter from Hicksville, in Montana told CBS news.
Even amongst the usually reluctant non-Republican voting black population, Mrs Palin is now a huge hit.
“Usually we don’t vote for people like Sarah Palin, but this time she gots us our vote, dang. Bitch likes black meat, hell that’s what I like to see, hmm, hmm. White women know where it’s at. We’s gonna vote up for her fo’ sho after that,” Buddy Johnson, 56, a janitor from Mississippi told a local radio station.