Chinese Want to Buy British Royal Family

“We have amassed so much money making cheap electronics and plastic trinkets that we are going to buy the British royal family and ship them off to a theme park somewhere on the outskirts of Shanghai,” the finance minister told state television on Friday.

The Chinese have already purchased Greece, large swathes of debt-ridden America, Italy, Portugal, as well as Ireland and France.

Last year, the Chinese purchased 23 countries in the African continent which they mined of all their natural resources, and are now looking for more countries to ransack.

The Windsor theme park has taken three months to construct and will attract billions of Chinese and foreign sightseers every year.

The British royal family would still be able to carry on being a royal family but will simply be in a different country.

The Chinese have already recreated a fully functioning Buckingham palace as well as a Windsor castle within the 4,000 acre theme park.

“This is a very intricate set up. We also have replicated a number of nightclubs so that Prince Harry will not realise that he is in China. Prince Andrew will of course have the pick of the prostitutes and we even have a surprise for Fergie, we give her expensive shops to go in where she can buy fake luxury goods to her hearts content. We also have a horse box for Camilla, with prenty of hay. It gonna be like heaven for her. Don’t tell Prince Philip he in China though, he might start walking around calling everyone a slitty eyed ch*nk,” Xim Xam Long, director of operations for the Windsor theme park told the Xinhua news service.

The royal theme park will open in time for Chinese New Year, which will be sometime in July.