Brits Advised to Wear Bullet Proof Vests if Visiting California


British tourists on a daily excursion in the streets of Los Angeles

CALIFORNIA – USA – So, you want to catch a few waves, saunter down Santa Monica or visit Disney Land, well forget about having any fun, you will need some serious gear just to walk the streets of California let alone enjoy yourself.


Britain’s America Travel Bureau are advising all Britons to wear bullet proof vests, hard hats and if possible hiring bodyguards when visiting California.

“We are advising all travellers to take precautions as the level of gun violence, shootings and terrorism in California is very high. Please read all of our recommendations before even thinking about buying a ticket to that area,” Julie Simmons, a representative of the Bureau told the BBC.

John Tremendes, a tour operator in San Bernardino wants to capitalise on the terror and is offering visitors protection in a hired APC (Armoured Personnel Carrier).

“We got good protection from Muslims. This thing can withstand a direct hit from an RPG (Rocket-Propelled Grenade) as well as most sub machine gun fire. We have turrets and .50 cal gun on top, but that’s optional. Thermal and night vision. We can even pick you up at the airport, and deliver you to your bunker, ahem, I mean hotel.”

Trained bodyguards or mercenaries don’t come cheap though. BlackMamba is an outfit of hardened mercenaries who have seen every combat situation under the sun, to hire a single merc may set you back $15,000 per day but it’s worth it if you and your family keep your lives.

Abel Johnson is offering day trips to Santa Barbara for $16,500 all inclusive including travel to and from the LZ, in a Blackhawk helicopter and armed bodyguards so you can enjoy a stroll by the beach without dying in a hail of bullets.

  • Duke

    What u expec from limey surrender monkeys! Got no balls!!!