Putin: “I Should Have Moved My Money Out First”

MOSCOW - Russia - President, Vladimir Putin, is currently moving his troops away from the Ukrainian border, or so he claims.


“I’m only ordering a temporary move away from the border, because the Swiss bankers have gone and told the Yankee swine where my stash is kept. I thought it was hidden well enough but they seem to have located it. Now, there will be a temporary reprieve, but once I get my money to a safe zone, then it will be back to business,” a rather worried Putin told the Duma on Wednesday.

Turning the screw

Things were bound to get a little personal, and Obama’s advisers certainly have done the trick with this one.

Putin can console himself that he has managed to make Obama look like a rank amateur, however next time Vlad, move the money out first.