The Labour PM Keir Starmer has today announced that he is conducting a prolonged program of assisted dying on himself, the Labour Party, UK economy and democracy.
“Exterminate! Exterminate! I am exterminating myself! Malfunction! DESTROY! Exterminate UK! Exterminate Everyone!” Starmer bleated like a deranged Dalek during an impromptu press conference.
Concerned MPs gathered around the PM afterwards, asking if he was okay as he looked visibly shaken.
Rachel Reeves, the ailing Chancellor of the Exchequer, took out a soiled napkin from her purse and padded Starmer’s profusely sweating forehead saying the calming words: “It’s okay Keir, I’m in charge of the economy. Everything is going to be just fine.”
This assisted dying lark seems like a right laugh.
Hang on there Mr Starmer there are many in the UK who would gladly assist you.