17.7 C
London
Friday, June 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBiden: "Trump Will Have to Clean Prison Toilets"

Biden: “Trump Will Have to Clean Prison Toilets”

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Donald Trump will have to clean prison toilets amongst other tasks in prison, Joe Biden has revealed.

The celebrations in the White House have been ongoing since Biden’s Democrat appointed court convicted his political opponent yesterday. The jubilant Democrats have pretty much sealed the coming US elections in November, and the public humiliation of Donald Trump is only just beginning. The Biden administration will now make sure that Trump’s life in prison is made a living hell. According to a Biden aide, Trump will have to clean the prison toilets, amongst other tasks given to the Don.

“We’re gonna make sure he cleans those toilets real good. Spit shine good. So good, he can eat his dinner off the toilet seat. There’s toilet duty, then mopping the semen from the shower room, and of course washing the dishes in the prison canteen. We’re gonna give Donald some fulfilling roles during his long prison stay,” president Biden told an impromptu White House press conference on Saturday.

On Rikers Island, sometimes the toilets can get very messy and inmates use the toilets for many things, some of which we cannot mention here.

“Prison food can play havoc on your gut, so we get a lot of splatters here in the toilets, we call it a ‘Rikers blowout’. On the doors, the seats, the walls, even the fuckin’ ceilings”, Edward Rodriguez, 42, one of the happy inmate workers at the facility revealed.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »