17.7 C
London
Thursday, June 13, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBritain to House Entire Continents of Africa, Asia and South America

Britain to House Entire Continents of Africa, Asia and South America

LONDON - England - The entire population of the Third World is to be housed by the UK.

Because so many billions of people want to come to Britain to live and receive benefits plus use the NHS, the government is planning to build vast skyscraper buildings across the country holding millions of people.

Each skyscraper will hold over 800 million people from Third World countries, and will reach above the clouds in height. The skyscrapers will measure 15 miles wide, and will also have a portion of the building underground to a depth of 1,000 metres.

“We envisage every single space in the UK taken up by these behemoth skyscrapers, housing the people who enter the country illegally. Britain will not have a countryside anymore as every previously protected green space is permanently concreted over. The babbling brooks, rivers, forests and meadows of Britain will be bulldozed and filled with these concrete monstrosities,” one of the planners for the new scheme revealed to a parliamentary committee today.

The entire population of Asia, South America, Africa and Middle East accounts to approximately 7.4 billion people who all want to come to the UK.

The NHS will have to service an extra 7.4 billion people per annum, and the government proposes an increase of funding by 15% however many dispute this as a ridiculously low amount to fund the free health service with such high numbers of immediate population growth on the tiny island of Britain.

The population of Britain is currently 67.3 million, and to accommodate the massive influx of population, all Britons will be taxed 100% of their income, and have all bank deposits and assets seized by the government. Even then, only 12% of the new influx of 7.4 billion people will be able to be catered for regarding benefits, NHS, schooling, and housing.

The government on Wednesday was silent when reporters asked about how the rest of the people arriving in the UK will be funded.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

  1. If all the mums and dads moved to Argentina , when the baby pops out the whole family gets free citizenship , which could be a good thing considering what’s happening in the northern hemisphere and it’s a nice place , they don’t care about that Malvinas shit anymore , never did . Paper work is a bit fucked though but that’s the same as in Europe now , one word of advise , don’t go to El Bolson in Patagonia if your a fan of Jeremy Clarkson .

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »