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HomeWorldThousands Ghost Towns Created As People Flock to Vancouver

Thousands Ghost Towns Created As People Flock to Vancouver

VANCOUVER - Canada - Thousands of people across the globe are flocking to this great Canadian city to get real high.

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This is incredible, Vancouver in Canada is decriminalising hard drugs. Heroin, cocaine, PCP, Meth, whatever you want is now legal. The Canadian province of British Columbia on Tuesday began a three-year pilot program to stop prosecuting people for carrying small amounts of heroin, meth, ecstasy, or crack cocaine, as part of an effort to fight a drug overdose crisis.

At the moment of the announcement, millions of people applied for Canadian citizenship.

“The roads are empty, our village has been completely cleaned out. They’re all off to Vancouver,” the remaining resident of Grymshyte, a village just outside Grimsby, England, revealed.

Some people are so desperate to get to Vancouver, they are trekking over hundreds of miles of forest to get over the border from the United States.

Billy Bob from Missoula, Montana is a dedicated meth head who just packed his bags and left his home when he heard the news on CNN.

“I wuz out in da yard wit my cuz Arlene. We were gonna go on our honeymoon, but I told her she can stay wit our 15 kids. I tol her dat I gotta date wit some serious meth in Vancouver. Dang it! Arlene did not take it well. Especially as I took da last bag of meth wit me. Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!”

Why is the Daily Squib office half-empty today?

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