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5 Positive Things About Huge Tax and Interest Rate Rises

LONDON - England - It's not all bad news about the huge tax and interest rate rises. Here are 5 positive things to cheer you up.

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Huge tax and interest rate rises can have some positive attributes, if you can believe it. The supposed Tory government are promising the population of Britain a prolonged period of recession and economic depression compounded by stifling taxes and insane levels of hyperinflation, as well as interest rate rises that are certain to stifle business and impoverish millions of people. But, hey, look on the bright side.

  1. When you lose your home due to interest rate rises affecting your mortgage and high energy, food prices, taxes, you won’t have to worry about things like mowing the lawn or tedious household chores or DIY ever again.
  2. You won’t be able to afford to run a car anymore. The huge increase in fuel taxes, road tax, insurance, and MOT as well as maintenance costs will bankrupt you. Look on the bright side, walking for miles in the freezing cold windy rain will give you some character, and possibly health.
  3. Believe it or not, eating too much food can be bad for you. Lucky for you, with the huge increase in food costs, you won’t be able to feed yourself anymore. Fasting for days on end, and maybe rummaging around bins for a few morsels of vitals will be character building, as you will not have any dignity left and good for your health as you will lose some weight.
  4. No more alcohol or fun for you. Yes, if you can’t afford food, how the hell are you going to afford a £12.50 pint in a pub?
  5. Due to the many lay-offs by businesses struggling to survive, you will not have to work another day in your life. Hooray! Isn’t that marvellous? Imagine a care free life where you do not have to get up at dawn, shit shave shower and put your suit on for another miserable day of tax slavery.

Hope you feel better now? It’s not all that bad, is it?

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