Crazy Old Woman Did NOT Bequeath £500,000 to the Daily Squib

LONDON - England - There was anger and chaos in the offices of the Daily Squib newspaper today as news filtered through that a recently deceased spinster bequeathed £500,000 to the government and not the Daily Squib.

“Where’s the justice in that? I feel totally gutted. How could she do that, and to the government?” our distraught sub-sub-editor, Ben Crupt revealed.

As well as crying in the corridor and writing room (toilets) one of our poor writers tried to hang himself in the photocopier room with some toilet paper and was found on the floor after falling and banging his head on a bin overflowing with crumpled up pieces of paper.

Daily Squib staffers were then told to “calm the f*ck down and just go to the pub” by senior management.