“Fracking Hell !”

SCUNTHORPE - England - Soon, major parts of the North will be reduced to fracking destitution and to some members of the government that won't be much different to the current state it is in.

“All fracking hell is going to break loose up here when the fracking diggers turn up. There will be fracking chaos, the mother fracking riot of the new fracking century,” Tanya Crust, an anti-fracker told the BBC.

The government’s proposals to frack the North with thrusting frack machines is a proposal that is driving some people fracking mad.

“First we get a long fracking drill, move it around a big bushy fracking hole, then thrust the fracker deep in there moving the bulbous fracking head in and out until it goes deeper and deeper. When the fracking rhythm is getting too much, the earth will tremor and there will be a large uncontrollable explosion of spurting frack juice which will shoot out the pulsating frack hole splurging all over the fracking place. Post fracking cigarettes are of course obligatory,” a fracking engineer said at a proposed fracking site.

Some fracking activists are now suggesting a fracking chastity belt to protect the earth from getting a good fracking but that could be a logistical costly fracking nightmare.