Everyone Should Chip In to Buy Shariah Law Loving Muslims One Way Tickets to Middle East

BRADFORD - England - If you see men and women coming around with a collection box for one way tickets to pay for Muslim extremists, it would be advisable to put a few coins or notes in there.

“If you don’t want to live in the UK and hate everything about this place including, the people, the religion, the culture, then why are you here? If you want to live in a Shariah Law country where you can be stoned to death for the smallest infraction please do. That’s why we’ve set up the One Way Ticket fund,” Julius Timpany, the founder of the charity told the BBC.

The One Way Ticket fund will repatriate people who are opposed to every form of traditional British life.

“Some of these people are born and bred in certain enclaves within Britain but cannot even speak English and hate every aspect of our culture. We’re English not tribal Muslims who aspire towards the strict Shariah form of Islam. If you want to live in Shariah countries, please go ahead, but leave the English to live their lives and do not impose your extreme views on our lives. Muslims never had a Renaissance, and even though most cultures around the world have developed it seems some people are still living under Medieval laws. We’ve already gone through the witch burning stage and religious persecution stage, maybe Islam needs to move on too. If you don’t like it here, why not go back to where you feel more comfortable and leave us to live our lives however way we please?” Mr Timpany added.