Cammo Running Scared Back to Merkel

LONDON - England - Number10 Downing Street was strangely quiet yesterday evening as the prime minister slunk back to his expensive fitted kitchen.

“He’s been on the phone all evening to his boss Merkel telling her there could be a slight set back with plans for the UK’s EU integration into the eurozone currency mechanism, or whatever the bloody thing is called,” a Number10 insider revealed.

The Tories were given a drubbing at the local election polls yesterday and the fear at Tory HQ is that there could be more of the same in 2015 when the General Election will be held.

“We’re hoping that there may be a world war between now and 2015 so that we won’t have to hold an election and obviously lose it,” some Tory backbencher belched over his trough.

As for Ukip, well they’re obviously xenophobes, but if you live in England and are not a xenophobe by now, you will probably be one soon when 29 million Romanians and Bulgarians are shown an open door at the end of this year thanks to a forced EU directive. The massive influx will most certainly ensure the death of the NHS and a collapse of the benefits system, which is already hanging by a thread at the moment. If you are unlucky enough to have a job, just think that you will be working nine months in a year to pay taxes so that Britain can accommodate the millions of poor EU migrants who will rush into the UK, but then again, you might be lucky and have your job taken by an EU migrant.

“The fact is that this is not only about race but culture. The EU is systematically destroying the UK by implementing ridiculous laws in Britain by faceless unelected Marxist officials from Brussels and Strasbourg. We need to break free from this madness or we will lose everything. Cameron is a lackey of Merkel and he needs to be ousted as soon as possible so that the UK can get back its right to govern itself. At the moment the UK is not governing itself and is being controlled completely by the EU. We need to get our country back. Don’t vote for Labour because they are pro-euro, don’t vote for Cameron because he is pro-euro,” a Ukip candidate said from a local by-election voting booth.