“I am so happy to be here. My pops called me the cleverlesst [sic] guy he ever knew, and I agree I am really smart. I just smoked a few rocks before I got on stage here so please excuse me if my facial expressions are getting all crazy (one of Hunter’s rotten teeth falls out). I am so proud of you dad, the Big Guy, the Big Kahuna! You’re the best, even though you made me give you 20% of all the dirty money I received from those corrupt Chinese and Ukrainian companies!”
The crowd of 16 Democrats in the crowd first looked around in a bemused manner before a Biden official beckoned them to clap.
Sniffing wildly and chomping his ruined teeth, Hunter Biden had a big smile on his rotten face as he clapped insanely, his eyes wildly moving around in their sockets.
“Pop, I did this all for you! We did nothing wrong by taking those backhander payments, and I know when you’re president, China will not have a hold on you because of that compromised info on my laptop, or that other stuff…ahem! Folks, China is our friend, they want to help us, there is nothing to fear. You know, like when you put your arm in a tiger cage and say there is nothing to fear before it rips your arm off from the shoulder.”
Two for twenty
At that moment Hunter Biden starts to cough uncontrollably, and the 16 Democrats in the crowd look kind of concerned.
Turning his back to the crowd, Hunter takes out something from his pocket, some kind of tube. He then extracts a large white rock of something and puts it in the pipe, lighting it and inhaling with gusto.
“I’m okay now, dzzzzzibble, ramadamadingdong! Everything is gonna be all right, pops is gonna be prez, and I’m gonna get a big rock of crack in the White House, I’m gonna move in with pops, and we’re gonna party. The hookers and underage jailbait are coming too, fo shure!!!!! Footjobs, blowjobs, handjobs, crackjobs, all kinds of jobs! Pops is gonna be prez because China fixed it for us, nothing Trump can do now! It’s fixed! Ballot harvesting and all that! Yeehaw!”
At that moment Hunter salutes the crowd of 16 Democrats and falls flat on his face with a big thump.
Immediately after that episode, some burly Secret Service guys come along and take Hunter back to his holding pen where he will be kept for the rest of his sorry life. If there was any justice in America both father and son would be in prison, but we all know how justice works in the land of the corrupt.