17.7 C
London
Tuesday, April 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldCNN Don Lemon: "Squeeze Me I'm a Yella Coward!"

CNN Don Lemon: “Squeeze Me I’m a Yella Coward!”

NEW YORK - USA - Don Lemon from CNN wants you to squeeze the juice out of his loveable yella self.

Don Lemon exemplifies everything about what the U.S. media has metamorphosized into over the years. This flappy insipid urine stain is the poster child of a generation who are not interested in informative news reports but puerile name-calling and vindictive cowardly supposed progressive virtue signalling opinions garnered from the pansy ghetto of disinformation and biased reportage. These vile pantheons of mediocrity and banality are all always right of course, because they said so…silly!

“Everything I say is correct so listen to me my darlings,” Lemon pleads for his adoring automaton audience to spark up.

“My husband and I are so angry right now, we don’t know why we hate Trump so much, but we’re asking you all to vote for Biden instead because we said so. Ooh, did you see Hunter’s custard launcher? It was huge and so adorable! You know from that laptop that no one is allowed to talk about or report.”

Don Lemon then squeezes his head and a little gay rainbow juice comes out the top.

“Ima gon save dat for my husband later!”

When Don Lemon finishes his biased report, he sashays down the CNN corridor and rushes to get to the toilets.

“It gets looser as we get older from overuse. AAAaargh! My sphincter is practically non-existent. Dayum, I don’t think I’m gonna make it! I might have to drop a lemon or four in the corridor!”

That’s when Lemon squirts out some nasty poopers all over the CNN corridor, they just pop out with a whooshing sound.

Things sure have changed since the days when CNN used to be a real news station.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »