Ed Miliband to Dave: “Everywhere You Look You Will See My Face”

LONDON - England - The mourning BBC announced the news yesterday of David Miliband's extreme transatlantic sulk where he will make millions of pounds off the backs of suffering Third Worlders with a new 'charity' job.

Ed Miliband was less forthright about the issue of his brother leaving the UK because he couldn’t hack being passed over for Labour leadership by his younger brother.

“I am the leader of the Labour party, it was I, who was the only choice and you had your chance David but you fudged it, you could’ve got Gordon Brown, or you could’ve at least tried. Instead you fudged it and this is why you were passed over. Obviously you cannot face the fact that your younger brother got the job you wanted, and you are leaving to New York. Well, that’s not going to save you from your failure is it? Your champagne socialist massive new salary won’t save you either. Everywhere you look and every moment of the day, you will see my face and remember that you failed to become the Labour party’s leader, unlike me, the future Prime Minister of Britain,” Ed Miliband announced through a specially made BBC program last night.