17.7 C
London
Friday, December 6, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldLooters of Summer Rehabilitated With Visits to British Museum

Looters of Summer Rehabilitated With Visits to British Museum

LONDON - England - The Summer of 2011 was notable for the riots across Britain, and the chaos that ensued such riotous looting behaviour. There is some positive news about the people involved in the rioting, as government agencies have rehabilitated over 95% of the looters, sources claim.

“The looters of 2011 are all rehabilitated and cured. It was actually quite a simple operation to cure the majority of the looters and vandals who perpetrated such heinous bouts of rioting during the late Summer 2011. We simply took them on weekly excursions to the British Museum in London to show them that looting is a terrible crime and must be stopped at all costs,” Angela Brinkinstowe, a health worker at the government’s Loot Less Initiative told the Daily Mail.

The weekly visits to the British Museum have successfully curbed the mass looting instincts of the rioters.

Lee Spinks, 23, from Hackney, who was caught looting in the Summer of 2011, was philosophical about the visits to the British Museum: “I was caught looting a flat screen TV. They put me in jail for that, but I see here an ancient Egyptian artefact from Thebes possibly priceless, and I see Ancient Roman and Greek artefacts that are beyond any price tag, and I think to myself, were these objects taken from Coventry or Yorkshire?”

Another former looter said: “Where the hell did all this stuff come from? I’m a mere amateur next to this amount of pilfering. It’s a good thing I’m retired now, I feel truly humbled.”

Next week the ex-looters will have an excursion to the Royal Bank of Scotland building in Central London.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!