17.7 C
Friday, July 12, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldTodd Akin Was Legitimately Raped in Disabled Mall Toilet

Todd Akin Was Legitimately Raped in Disabled Mall Toilet

MISSOURI - USA - A Right Wing Christian Republican Senate nominee, Todd Akin has been brutally and legitimately raped in a Kansas City shopping mall disabled toilet while on a campaigning stop.

“I was legitimately raped in the ass by a big black man called Bubba. My emotions saved me though and I released a hormone so I won’t get AIDS,” Mr Akin said from his hospital bed.

The Senate hopeful will be released from hospital tomorrow and will continue his campaigning for the Republican party.

“If you have a belief in Jesus and you get raped, God releases emotions and hormones that stop bad things happening to you. My belief is the same if women are raped and the body releases a hormone and their emotions stop the sperm. It’s all true because I read it in the bible damn it,” Mr Akin added before rolling his eyes and getting back to his bible study.

Doctors today confirmed that Mr Akin has been legitimately infected with HIV.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!